[ Ajax considers Zhongli's words and their supposed implications long and hard—or, at least, as much as he can in the reality of the situation. He glances down shyly now at seeing that fond smile (something strange and giddy and heart-racing all at once and he doesnt know or understand any of it,) while also feeling a something knowing in his chest that he doesn't like. He understands what has caused it& mdash; Zhongli confirming that them being able to see each other again any more than hoping once at a time until that is fulfilled only to need to hope for it again the next time when the other departs.
(It shouldn't upset him because he knew this already — and he knows his time will not be long like other youkai. The part that upsets him the most is that he won't even be able to say he's going to a great place where he can wait for someone like Zhongli. He will never be able to be a real celestial fox that can wait for someone or visit them elsewhere in far away places. It feels... such a shame. )
By now the blush has mostly faded, and he stares at the at the wooden plaque helplessly. He wants to make a wish they can see each other for a long time after Zhongli leaves, but is that a cruel thing to ask Zhongli participate in when he knows for a fact even if the adeptus can make that wish come true eventually, Ajax simply can't?
Closing his eyes, his grip tightens for a moment on the edges of the small ornament before he relaxes his stressed joints. ]
I... want to be able to spend as much time as possible with you for the remainder of your stay. As for the bigger wish... shouldn't we think of one together? I can make my own wish alone but I hope before you leave you'll want to make a big wish just like mine, too. So, I should maybe hold onto it until that time comes.
[ He offers a nice smile, something kind and attractive, but it feels odd. It's not something that screams fake so much as that he wants the smile he's giving to be reassuring and genuine that he's confident no matter the situation or response but it's finding that more difficult than he anticipated.
(More difficult, more complicated, more unrealistic and these strange feelings all bottle up into something unfamiliar and unsettling. One of the saving graces had always been he didn't feel attacked to anyone or anything for their absence or his lack of ability to offer them anything they deserve. So why now? It's it just because the old adeptus is paying attention and being kind that he's running away with the situation?
Probably. ] For now, if I can spend the most time with you on your stay and it isn't a bother to you, I would like that very much, I think.
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(It shouldn't upset him because he knew this already — and he knows his time will not be long like other youkai. The part that upsets him the most is that he won't even be able to say he's going to a great place where he can wait for someone like Zhongli. He will never be able to be a real celestial fox that can wait for someone or visit them elsewhere in far away places. It feels... such a shame. )
By now the blush has mostly faded, and he stares at the at the wooden plaque helplessly. He wants to make a wish they can see each other for a long time after Zhongli leaves, but is that a cruel thing to ask Zhongli participate in when he knows for a fact even if the adeptus can make that wish come true eventually, Ajax simply can't?
Closing his eyes, his grip tightens for a moment on the edges of the small ornament before he relaxes his stressed joints. ]
I... want to be able to spend as much time as possible with you for the remainder of your stay. As for the bigger wish... shouldn't we think of one together? I can make my own wish alone but I hope before you leave you'll want to make a big wish just like mine, too. So, I should maybe hold onto it until that time comes.
[ He offers a nice smile, something kind and attractive, but it feels odd. It's not something that screams fake so much as that he wants the smile he's giving to be reassuring and genuine that he's confident no matter the situation or response but it's finding that more difficult than he anticipated.
(More difficult, more complicated, more unrealistic and these strange feelings all bottle up into something unfamiliar and unsettling. One of the saving graces had always been he didn't feel attacked to anyone or anything for their absence or his lack of ability to offer them anything they deserve. So why now? It's it just because the old adeptus is paying attention and being kind that he's running away with the situation?
Probably. ] For now, if I can spend the most time with you on your stay and it isn't a bother to you, I would like that very much, I think.