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[ It's cold here, icy wind biting through the multiple layers of Zhongli's finely tailored suit. Strange - it had always been warm enough for him before. Warm enough that he can recall the lilt of a voice laughing 'How can you wear that in the middle of summer and not melt, you old fossil?'. There is no face to accompany the voice; no name to match. There has not been for years now for many people. A sea of nameless featureless faces with only bits of word or color to distinguish them from the people around them. This one in particular had more definition than most - bright pops of red flowers, a swirl of butterflies. They-- no she, definitely, she had been someone close. Someone important.

But she, like the days(?) ~~weeks~~ ~~months~~ spent wandering the icy capital of Snezhanaya had blended into one smooth solid stretch of time. Featureless like a precious stone polished by the touch of time. Only one thing pierced the fog like the bright beacon of a lighthouse - a faded photograph well worn from the touch of his gloved fingers. An old photograph from an early Kamera model, long considered an antique, of a young man wading calf-deep into the ocean with a beautiful blue and white spiral shell clutched in his hand. He's half turned to the camera, laugh almost tangible as a red mask hangs from equally vibrant red hair. Childe. Zhongli knows that is his name though he knows not where the picture was taken or how he knows that he the man in somewhere in the the Cryo capital. He just knows. Knows that he's here.

In the beginning, he'd had no luck finding "Childe". In fact, most inquiries into his whereabouts were met with either astonished looks or demeaning laughter. "Who does this foreigner think he is asking for one of Her Majesty's Harbingers? Asking for Lord Tartaglia?" And no matter how Zhongli gently corrected that he was looking for "Childe", not this Tartaglia, the looks only become more credulous, the laughter that much louder.

That is until one day, he stumbled across a young man and woman, hands clasped together as eyes widened at him between two matching silver masks. "Xiansheng..." they had whispered before ushering him to the palace, placating any who approached with talk of official business and hurriedly shoving him into side hallways when those wearing regal ankle-length coats of snow walked past.

The woman (Nadia) clears her throat as the man (Vlad) knocks on a heavy-set ornamented door they had arrived to after an unknowable number of twists and turns. Zhongli stares at the three-petaled design carved beneath the door knocker, something itching in the back of his mind before it thrums into a headache that he experiences more often than not. ]

"Lord Harbinger. You have a visitor."

Edited 2023-04-11 05:00 (UTC)

Oh—? [ The door opens after a moment; Childe's smile present immediately in getting towards the three. Before he can say anything, however, it's impossible for his blue eyes not to go wide as they immediately hone in on the individual they've brought to his door. ]

—Zhongli-xiansheng?

[ somehow this isn't right. Something must be very wrong. It's been years, the Traveler and their sibling long since gone from Teyvat to new worlds. There's been countless opportunities to come visit or better yet simply make contact at all, and yet—
He looks from Zhongli to the two Fatui members seeking some kind of explanation as to how they obtained the person behind them currently.

Regardless of how much or how little they have to say, he'll let the crease in his brow lift and steps back to invite them inside with a welcoming smile.

(For Zhongli, the person at the door is several years older than in the picture he had, but he hasn't changed that much overall, still sporting boyish good looks and a charming as ever expression.) ]

What a surprise. Thank you, Vlad and Nadia. Can I trouble you both to get some of Zhongli-xiansheng's preferred tea sent up? I'll take care of him from here.

Childe...?

[ The way Zhongli says his name is so unsure at first as he also takes in Childe's appearance from head to toe. He's older than he is in the well worn picture. The uniform he is wearing is not one that Zhongli remembers even with as patchy as his memory is.

But this is Childe. He knows it. He knows it. So with more conviction: ]

Childe.

[ Zhongli steps into the room as Vlad and Nadia bow respectively and turn to fetch the items requested by their Harbinger. He glances around, inspecting but forgetting what he sees as soon as he moves onto the next object (all save for a few things that stick in his mind tentatively as if adhered by scotch tape). He twists his fingers uncertainly together, unsure of what to say now that he is finally here. Everything was about the journey, everything was about arriving here, everything was about finding Childe---

But now that he is found... ]

How have you been? It has been a---

[ How long has it been? ]

a while.

A while... is one way to put it.

[ Childe says quietly as he heads back into the room with the door now shut, shrugging slightly at the question of how he has been. Does it really matter? Maybe, but he doesn't think so. As he passes by Zhongli he will gently grab his wrist and lead him to take a a seat on one of the couches. ]

Not to sound ungrateful you decided to stop by, but... Why are you here, Xiansheng...? [ if he's still bitter about their parting he does his best not to show it— years have allowed him to further temper his emotions and keep them down better, or at least for the most part. He's trying to think of everything and anything that Zhongli told him in his stories way back then that might give him a hint of the significance of this situation. This isn't Zhongli just suddenly deciding maybe they should have a talk.

Something is wrong. ]

Also, why ... where is your coat— you haven't been wandering around Snezhnaya in just that, have you?...!

[ so much for keeping emotions completely in check. Stupid old man, god or not surely he can't be oblivious to such drastic temperature change. Even as warm as the palace is compared to outside, and his room warmer still, it's not enough to not go without something heavier. It's not warm and cozy like a house, afterall.

Letting go of Zhongli's wrist, Childe moves from the couch to go grab his white coat hanging neatly near the door and return to throw it over Zhongli's shoulders and start fixing it for him as he crouches in front of him. There's a slight bit of annoyance as he works to make sure he does it properly, but the feeling has him wondering why it's so familiar. What is he doing? Zhongli is not incapable of putting the coat on himself and taking care, so why is he doing it?

(Can he really, though? If he's been wandering around in the same layers he used to wear in Liyue—)

This reminds him of his mother when he was a child, frantically bundling his ailing grandfather who had been caught outside the house wanting aimlessly in the snow and ice looking for his wife that he insisted had gone out earlier before him and not yet come back. Childe's grandmother, though, had passed away three years prior. He remembers him mother looking frustrated and upset on the verge of tears as she did everything to make sure h he couldn't feel an ounce of the cold from the outside. It was as if she was trying to rid him of the experience of going out there looking for his wife that was never going to come home.

The memory makes Childe pause sharply, his hands freezing in their movements for a long moment before he forces himself to continue and finish. There's no way the situation is comparable. Zhongli has always acted like an old man, but he never had been suffering deterioration from old age like a human would.

(And even if he did, why should it bother Childe? they clearly had nothing back then , not even a friendship mending on both their ends considering their mutual lack of interest in bridging the rift that split the earth abruptly between them and kept them separated.) ]

[ If Zhongli is bothered by Childe's less than enthusiastic response, he does not show it. Childe does bring up a good point after all - he came all the way here unannounced without any idea of where Childe was or even if he had time to entertain a visitor. That was quite rude on Zhongli's part if he stopped to think about it. But the more that he tried to concentrate on why exactly he had chosen to come here now of all times, the more hazy and blurry the memories became.

He remembers the pristine golden walls of the Northland Bank and the way the receptionist's face curled in disdain when he asked if Childe was available for lunch. He remembers standing at the docks for hours on end, waiting for the ships to and from Snezhnaya to arrive at port. (He remembers long stretches of time where no ships bearing the insignia of the Cyro Archon were sighted in the harbor at all.) He remembers sitting at his desk in the dusk glow, penning letter after letter to his dear friend that was far far away now.

(He doesn't remember how the letters ended up in a box at the bottom of his closet unsent. As of now, he doesn't even remember that box exists.)

Once the coat is settled on his shoulders and buttoned up to the hollow of his throat, Zhongli reaches out from under the warm thick layers of fur and heavy material to clasp Childe's hands within his gloved ones. He gives them a gentle squeeze, thumbs rubbing circles into the back of his hands. ]

I came to see you.

[ Earnest. Honest. ]

You told me that I could come visit you in your homeland once you left Liyue.

[ And that is a truth, albeit an old one. Words spoken over warm food and chilled wine as Childe spun tales of Snezhnaya to a wondrous Zhongli in an unusual reversal of roles. They were also words spoken well before that day in the Northland Bank where everything came crashing down around them. ]

I apologize that it took so long to get here.

[ —Ah. Childe doesn't expect to be touched, not even so much as a hand hold. So when he feels the gentle squeeze of his hands and those words I came to see you and sorry, he looks momentarily at a loss of how to respond. Zhongli says sorry so easily for that.
He knows it's nothing like having Zhongli apologies for what happened in Liyue, but if only that word were so easy back then before Childe left.

In the end Childe will relent, only going to press his forehead against Zhongli's own to check his temperature since his hands are occupied. It's as of Zhongli doesn't remember why they haven't seen each other for so long in the first place. That's not possible, though, is it? ]

You're right, I did. I just thought— assumed after everything that happened you wouldn't want to.

Also, I would have planned to take you back to my family rather than have you come visit here. Where are you staying, is it comfortable?

[ did Zhongli even bring mora with him to pay for a place? Childe knows he shouldn't be fussing like this over the other. he should be annoyed he had the audacity to think he could just waltz back into his life even for a simple visit after so many years of nothing, but... someone about the air around Zhongli now makes him feel like he can't do that. He shouldn't care about hurting Zhongli's feelings— and he doesn't! — but this isn't the Zhongli that was able to speak to him so callously about his contract with her Majesty at the bank.

(That was the first and last time he encountered the Geo archon Morax.)

He'd thought Zhongli wasn't capable of that behavior before, though, as well. So what is this nagging feeling that is telling him it's different?

Zhongli seems so ... sincere and straight forward. Is that it? Brow creasing again, he pulls back his forehead from the other's to get a better look at his face. ]

How are you doing...? [ How has retirement been? It must have been peaceful and occupying enough that Zhongli never reached out. Not that Childe had any stones to throw. He only wrote letters addressed to Zhongli when distraught or particularly emotional in some way. He carried them with him never having the conviction to send them and too nervous if he didn't keep them on him personally that he would somehow accidentally send one without realizing it. If he did that it might be fine so long as Zhongli never replied. But if Zhongli did, and worse yet with a message—

There is no longer any need for this correspondence to be upheld. The business between Wangsheng Funeral Parlor and the Fatui has ended. Those penned words burn like a brand in his mind from a dream he has had far too often. The few times Childe had finally convinced himself to send a letter, that dream had effectively halted him from doing so. As to where those letters went, he doesn't know. He remembers bringing them home with intention to burn them, but he could no longer recall if he had ever done so or simply lost track of them ahead of time.

Without realizing it, Childe shifts his hands to be able to squeeze Zhongli's gently in return. ]

[ Zhongli is cold, chilled far below a temperature that a mortal person should be, but his adeptus biology must be protecting him as he moves and talks and functions as if he wasn't the temperature of a corpse. Where has he been staying? He doesn't remember. He only remembers closing his eyes as the sun fades (the taverns are unfamiliar and the people even more so - he does not look for Childe after dark) and opening them again to begin the search at dawn's first light. What happens between is a mystery even to him. One of many as Childe's words unveil that many more. ]

Why wouldn't I want to?

[ The squeeze on Childe's hands is not as gentle this time though it takes only a moment for Zhongli to realize what he's doing and ease his grip. He lowers his head for a moment, bangs obscuring his eyes in what could only be embarrassment or shame. ]

Ah... Did I do something unkind?

[ Pride had always been a large part of Liyue - pride in her people, her culture, her history, her traditions. So pride lifts Zhongli's head again to meet Childe's gaze even if that shame still lingers. It's mixed in with confusion, worry, and concern - perhaps the most expressive that Childe has ever seen Zhongli even after their months spent together. ]

The healers - Dr. Baizhu - have told me there is something wrong with my memory. There are... obvious gaps. Long ones that I have no recollection of what happened during that period. I suppose to compensate I have latched on heavily to that which I can remember even if it appears some time has passed since our last meeting.

[ Which means years in between that fizzle like white static in Zhongli's mind. There were only flashes of events disjointed and scrambled as many of the modern artworks that were gaining popularity. Unfortunately, unlike those works of art, there was no artist nor professor would could interpret their meaning. And the twin travelers who probably knew him best during that time had long since left Teyvat. Who knows what happened in those years? And that nagging haunting chasm of the unknown causes Zhongli to begin to pull his hands back. ]

Should I not have come?

[ With a lack of an answer, Childe focuses on how cold the other is, a sense of unease trickling through him. Of course, as a god he does not seem to be suffering from the obvious hypothermia he has clearly had take over him for a while now. In fact, a human this temperature he has only felt in unfortunate fishers that have would sometimes fall into the lakes and come back to shore as good as dead. Sometimes they could be warmed up and survive, but most of the time they never woke up and passed on in a frozen state.

Zhongli... most likely isn't staying anywhere.

His expression doesn't shift when Zhongli asks that first question, but that second question along with the reaction does force his concern further to the surface. Zhongli looking back up to him with that shame there only makes the harbinger's expression bleed more worry. There's something... wrong with Zhongli's memory? Zhongli had a better memory than anyone.

How—

He suddenly recalls a conversation he had with the Tsaritsa, where she had noticed his behavior off whenever the Geo Gnosis had been present to the point she summoned him once alone. In retrospect, Childe assumes he was foolish to think she did it out of feeling anything like affection or concern towards him and instead was merely helping cement her mark in Childe never possibly going astray— to a different Archon no less. He recalls asking her if she thought Zhongli already forgot him even though Childe clearly was not in such a merciful position. She had been contemplative before responding perhaps. She told him things about Zhongli, things he had no idea if they were even true in terms of how he lived and the companions that he held dear and how they have all left him behind as he stands the test of time alone. Even the most powerful of the Seven was not immune to the state of Teyvat, though. The Geo Archon was made of stone and although stone is practically invincible, it can be worn away at with time. Memories do not last the same way a god's body does. She had gathered his desire to retire was partially fueled by this knowledge. Whether he was suffering back then, she could not say but it was a fair assumption that Childe had been lost to time by then. The first memories to go, just like human's, are the fleeting 'insignificants,' afterall.

Swallowing slowly, the harbinger takes in this information. He's latching on to what he does remember? How does he remember Childe? Why... does he remember Childe (and not in a negative light?) Guilt starts creeping up his shoulders as he digests the situation. Not only had Zhongli not forgotten him, but he's one of the remaining things that Zhongli remembers? Remembers enough to leave Liyue and come seeking him out here with no thought on how he would care for himself while out here or what the situation would be?

What about his memories of Liyue, his memories of the other archons, his fellow adepti—

Another thought strikes him. Does ... Zhongli have no memories of those other places and things enough to be able to find comfort in them?

Feeling Zhongli going to pull his hands back has it Childe's turn to tighten his hold, and at that last question he responds immediately— ] No don't say that. That's not it at all.

[ he lies.

And the lie burns his mouth and his throat in a way he's never felt before as some anxiety starts to fill Childe.

Absolutely, Zhongli should have never come. Childe doesn't want to have to relive what it was like to have someone that would never be his. He doesn't want to feel any of the flickering sensations that immediately started to stir already the moment the other had so earnestly said I came to see you. it was unfair that he had to suffer through such things when it wouldn't affect Zhongli at all.

Yet, somehow that pales in comparison to this, the idea of being presented with a deteriorating Zhongli scrubbed clean of his barriers as the waves of time erode his memory like the shoreline.

( But even now, there is a dark thought that lines itself up in all this despair. )

Letting go of Zhongli's hands, Childe smiles now in an attempt to conceal his previous upset over the reality of Zhongli's condition. It's not going to do any good being upset about the situation. He needs to focus on what's in front of him and what he can control— and that's Zhongli.

He reaches to embrace Zhongli, hugging the consultant to him protectively with soft words. ]

Never think that, Xiansheng— You belong here with me. I've missed you so much, and I'll make sure you are comfortable and not alone. You can stay as long as you want to.

[ It's warm.

It's warm here in Zapolyarny Palace in the heart of the kingdom of Cryo. Warm here in Childe's arms where Zhongli burrows the frigid temperature of his face into the crook of the Eleventh's shoulder as gloved hands clutch almost desperately at his shoulder blades. It's warm. Warm and inviting and cozy when previously it had been long stretches of featureless cold and white and gold.

Zhongli lets out a shuddering breath, eyes wet with an emotion he cannot identify as he clings and clings and clings to Childe like a buoy on the ocean. His voice is stretched thin and wavering, cracked and unused to displaying anything but the careful veneer of politeness as he asked and asked and asked for a sign or a hint or a clue of where he was supposed to go.

But now he's here. Now he's safe. Now he's where he is meant to be. ]

Childe--

Childe, I missed you. I missed---

[ The clatter of ceramic on a worn wooden table as Xiangling (yes, he remembers her name now) set down her newest creation for them to try in front of Chef Mao's (him as well) proud visage. The smell of salt and steamed soup of ham and bamboo. The frustrated grumble of his companion as the two chopsticks slipped past each other in an unfortunate x, leaving the dumpling precariously held between them to land on the table with a sad wet plop. Wanmin. Black Perch Stew. Fullmoon egg. ]

I missed---

[ His companion's boisterous laughter as Zhongli stared down at the empty cavern of his pockets, wallet forgotten for the umpteenth time. The disappointed look on Master Bolai's face (no longer just the shopkeeper underneath the docks) that twisted into appeasement as a heavy bag of mora was tossed onto the counter, definitely more than the asking price for the centuries year old tea set laid with jade as clear and blue as the harbor's waters. Noctilucous Jade. Wanyou Boutique. Feiyun Slope. ]

I missed---

[ "I'm not a bad guy! …Okay perhaps I'm kind of a bad guy."

"When paying— Well, when getting others to pay for him, he neither looks at the price tag nor his wallet."

"To my mind, battle scars are medals of honor — the true mark of a warrior. I don't go covering them up." ]

I want to stay... I want to stay, so---

[ Like a lens coming into focus, Zhongli can see and hear and remember so much more. Names, faces, places, events -- all those tiny details that used to slip through his fingers, Childe catches in his and returns to him. Ah, but there's so much still missing. Some much time unaccounted for. Zhongli remembers nothing of his time before he took up consulting for the Parlor. Remembers nothing after parting from the Traveler at the gates of the harbor with the skies darkening to an ominous grey. And yet it was still so much more than what he had before. So much that no words can convey just how much this means to Zhongli. For surely the next measly two words that fall from him lips come up dreadfully short (but he has nothing else to say nothing else to express his gratitude, and so---) ]

Thank you.

[ I missed you.

How long has Childe wanted to hear those words, too feel Zhongli actually cling to him like he matters? It's bittersweet, though— Zhongli with all his memories in tact would never say such things to him even if he felt them all the same. He holds the other, nevertheless, presses his cheek against the side of Zhongli's head in comfort even as Childe himself stares apathetically at the wall behind them. What now? Should he just keep Zhongli with him like he selfishly wants to and try his best to the make the other happy until his memory deteriorates to nothing? His face twitches a little at the thought despite it overall not drawing any full blown reaction. It speaks volumes as to how he feels about it, though. If nothing else, he doesn't want to gain Zhongli only to lose him in such a horrible way. Not that he could tmmm ever turn him away even at his cruelest. He'd mercy kill the other rather than let him go back to being alone with his memories failing him like this.

Is there anything he can do to reverse the effects, though?

...No. if even immortals are affected then there's nothing that can stop it. ]

Of course, you are welcome. Not that you need to say such a thing. How about we get you into the bath to warm up? I'll get you some extra clothes and your favorite tea will be ready when you're finished. If you're hungry, we can get something as well. It's time for you to relax now after coming such a long way.

[ —But, oh, will he ever try, anyway, for this person. ]

[ Zhongli presses further against Childe, eyes drifting shut as he breathes in the smell of ocean and steel that is so uniquely him. Another memory blooms in the back of his mind - like a withered plant being finally granted water. One of Childe dispatching a Ruin Guard along a sandy beach in the humid Liyue heat, grinning as the hydro splashed his clothes to give him relief from the sweltering heat as well as cut deep into the iron shell. And another - of Zhongli lightly chided Childe as he tried to drink newly brewed tea without the proper puff of air to cool it down before it scalded his throat. Like a garden, memory after memory flourished in the presence of light and water.

Zhongli should pull away, should get out of Childe's way since he did come unannounced in the middle of the day. But the gentle promise of being able to spend more time with Childe, that he would step away from his duties and take care of him---

Ah, he had grown quite selfish, hadn't he? Selfish enough to leave his job behind with naught but a few words for the director. Selfish to leave that life behind even if there was nothing tethering him to it anymore. Selfish to barge into Childe's life uninvited. And yet he does not feel guilty for getting exactly what he wanted. ]

All right.

[ Zhongli pulls back reluctantly, wiping tiredly at his eyes as one hand reaches for and grips one of Childe's, too stubborn and selfish to let go of the Harbinger for even a moment. ]

That sounds wonderful.

[ Childe smiles gently and encouragingly. Perhaps it's some part of him that just can't bear to be the reason for a disappointed expression appearing on Zhongli's features that makes him unable to do anything else but indulge.

It feels bad, in a way. Zhongli reaching to hold his hand, something he would have died for so many years ago. Now he's getting that affection so easily but knowing something is wrong with the consultant's memory makes him feel... like a bad kind of person. There's a little guilt, but it's becoming more guilt over not feeling guilty enough. Without any hint to how his mind is jerking itself this way and that, he simply holds Zhongli's hand in turn to now lead him to a door at the back of the office. It opens into a short hall and another door that Childe will open and bring the other in.

It's a rather large and lavish living area of sorts— or at least an extremely large bedroom. Childe doesn't stop to let Zhongli look around (later, first things first-!) and takes him right into the equally impressive bathroom. It's all in the beautiful gothic architecture of the Cryo Archon's country and immaculately clean. Childe doesn't seem to have spread himself out and made the bathroom his own; but there are a lot of different soaps, washes, and lotions from all over Teyvat (... and they're all unopened) to use. It's all a very similar feeling to a newly prepared suite at a high-priced inn. For whatever reason, Childe has never turn this into anything but a place he stays in rather than his own personal room.

With the lights coming on automatically, the harbinger walks through the bathroom towards a set of clean large towels hanging from one of the walls and takes two—one that is soft but rather thin flat and another that is softer and far more fluffy. They are both a blue color (one dark and one light) that compliments the silver and white majority in the bathroom decoration. ]

Do you want to use the bath or the shower, Xiansheng? You can use whatever you like in here for soapa and whatnot, but if there's something in particular you wish for and don't see, just let me know, and I'll get it for you. [ he holds the towels now to his chest looking curious and waiting to see what Zhongli would prefer. ]

Also, do you want to change into Liyue style house robes? —Oh, and whatever kind of wash item you like you can use, too. I'm partial to just using a wash cloth so I'm not overflowing with options, but I always have at least two new loofah in case any of my sisters show up when they don't feel like paying for lodging in the capital.

Basically make yourself at home.

[ The splendor of a Harbinger's Snezhnaya living quarters is much to take in. Zhongli follows Childe in wide-eyed wonder, one hand still clasped in his as he follows him through the hall and then his luxurious suite.

It's beautiful - pristine in its whites and blues that remind Zhongli of Childe so much. It's also clean and minimalist, built for someone who spends little time resting at home and hearth when there are other things he could be doing. That is reminiscent of Childe as well.

Still - it seems a little lonely to see the rows and rows of unopened bottles and jars. Lonelier still that this room feels more like a high priced inn than a home, prestigious as an inn with this opulence would be. When Childe drops Zhongli's hand to gather up the towels, Zhongli's own wanders to the neatly lined soaps - index finger ghosting over each and every label before he pulls closer a wide glass jar of delicate green, the lid a carefully sculpted purple Sumeru rose. He stares at it a moment too long, almost missing when Childe asks him a question next. ]

Ah. Yes?

[ He looks around the bathroom, the advanced technology Snezhnaya used to keep itself warm in the bitter land of frost strange and alien. For some reason, it sets him on edge as his eyes follow a set of pipes that disappear into the walls and to who knows where. Not a shower, no. ]

A bath, please.

[ His expression relaxes into a small smile as he pulls the perfumed bottle close to his chest. ]

As for other preferences---

[ His eyes drop to the towels pressed close to the Harbinger, curious himself if he preferred the thin utilitarian one or indulged in the soft fluff of the other. ]

I wish to experience Snezhnaya as you experienced Liyue - with a cultural guide who can show me what it truly means to enjoy the nuances of living here. So whatever you recommend, I would be delighted to try.

❖ The road that they walk on is paved in gold ❖

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❖ Kitsune Monogatari ❖

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