hydrangeabloom | (no subject)

[ Zhongli's mouth twists in a complicated expression as Tonia explains her proposal. It is even and it is fair, and yet he wants to protest it for the sake of protesting due to an unfamiliar feeling bubbling up in his stomach. Thankfully, Childe pulls him away and leads him out of the kitchen before he can do so.

The place they end up is also surprising, but what about this evening hasn't been different from the norm.

Zhongli lets out a startled sound when his back hits the door, clearly surprised at Childe's forwardness (they were going to eat soon and wasn't this probably going to get potentially messy), but it is clearly not unwelcome. Not when Zhongli angles his head just so to meet the kiss, tongue slipping into Childe's mouth. Not when arms wrap around his neck to pull him closer and invite him to touch him more.

(But during this time, there is a strange pause where Zhongli's eyes go glassy and unfocused. Zhongli cannot recall ever being intimate with another person, but Morax certainly has enough experience that his body knows how to respond even without those memories. Hands smooth down the expanse of Childe's back with practiced ease. A kiss is pressed firmly against his jaw and the haziness recedes from Zhongli's expression.) ]

But would it not be terribly rude to ruin your appetite before the meal?

[ Fingers fiddle with the claps and buttons on Childe's next layer of clothing as contrary to his words, Zhongli attempt to undo them. His voice is steady as always though the rising flush in his cheeks and the slight tremor in his fingers bely that overwhelming confidence. ]

Unless you can manage to fit in a whole proper course.

[ Childe senses those small barely there uncertainties present in the other's body language, but all he can do is find them adorable and endearing. He knows that any nervousness is Zhongli unable to remember anything of this type rather than truly his first encounter (someone such ass Morax... to assume he didn't have any experience would be absurd) ... but there's something about it that makes Childe's chest feel warm all the same.

As if to emphasize his next point, he runs his tongue down the length of Zhongli's neck (as much as he can with that collar in place, antsy, which he will make sure to get rid of first as he begins to do immediately.) ]

You think I could ever get enough of you that I would not have room for more? Don't forget... my hunger has been left to fester for years. The only way you'll ruin my appetite is that I lose a taste for everything else except for you.

[ —and concerning that ... it's already too late. ]

Besides... [ As soon as he's loosened the tie and collar enough he'll start to lick and kiss at the newly exposed skin before pausing with a smile carved onto his features that presses easily against Zhongli's flesh. His hands shift to start working the buttons and layers loose on his lover next. ]

Even children know the rules: If I can't eat the full meal, how will I get to my dessert? I want that dessert more than anything.

[ More than anything...

Zhongli's entire body spasms as his breath hitches, fingertips digging into the thick material of Childe's coat. A good portion of that is due to the attention that Childe is physically paying attention to him (the warmth of his mouth and tongue on places that are not even usually exposed) but Childe's words and the unbridled exposure of his desire is what truly overwhelms him. Zhongli can feel the heated flush to his cheeks and spreading to the rest of his body. Uncontrollable and exposed as Childe's slowly strips layer after layer of clothing off him.

That same heat and desire burn within Zhongli as well in addition to the need to reciprocate. But unlike every other aspect of his life were he was either knowledgeable or had a particular way of doing things, he finds himself lost in the spontaneity and ambiguity of whatever was happening between him and Childe. He wanted it. Oh Archons, he also wanted it more than anything. But he had never been so unsure on how to proceed before. ]

Childe... I have not—

I have never...

[ Ah, it's so hard to concentrate over the rush of heat overtaking him and the feel of Childe pressed against him. Whatever pride and attempts at remaining composed through all of this begin to slowly melt away. ]

But I want you. I want you so dearly.

[ A short chuckle escapes his throat, playful and aroused but reassuring and sincere. ]

Relax. You don't need to know your to do anything else here other than indulge in enjoying yourself. ... And if you don't like how something feels, that you speak up. I'll take care of the rest.

[ Childe is true to his word. He doesn't strip Zhongli completely bare, but he does enough to be able to get his hands running over rarely exposed skin, exploring as much as caressing the other to map his body through touch. Eventually he'll grab the other to lift him up against the door encouraging Zhongli to wrap his legs around Childe's waist as the harbinger continues to shift between kissing and nipping at shots where the flesh is particularly thin and returning to kissing him in order to explore the other's mouth once again with his tongue. He doesn't take time to purposely tease beyond the fact that he's still stroking and touching Zhongli all over while leaving any areas that directly have to do with sex untouched. He will get to them soon enough, and he plans to spoil Zhongli there the same way he's currently doing to every other part of the adeptus in his arms. Afterall, Zhongli is deserving of such body worship in Childe's eyes. ]

[ When Zhongli is lifted, he easily slides his legs around Childe, ankles hooked at the small of his back and pressed against the door so that Childe does not have to bear the brunt of all of his weight. It's intoxicating - feeling Childe's hands wander and caress parts of him that have never been touched before. To be kissed again and again enthusiastically as Childe explores him.

Quiet and embarrassing sounds (if Zhongli had enough presence of mind to be embarrassed) start slipping past his lips as well as the quiet mantra of Childe's name. Childe Childe Childe.

Though even in his current diminished capacity, Zhongli is a firm believe of equality and fairness and does not back down just because something is new and unfamiliar. So his own hands begin mimicking Childe's touches, one after another, mirroring his actions. Off-balance as he is, he does not have enough presence of mind to properly distinguish Childe's reactions to his touches and thus Zhongli continues to stroke and caress him in the ways that he finds personally pleasing. Is he furthering exposing his own vulnerabilities? Yes. Does he mind in the slightest? Not at all.

Strange. Childe was a Harbinger, a bringer of death from another nation, was rumored to have attempted to drown Liyue Harbor if the gossip of the town were to be believe. And yet Zhongli felt nothing but safe and cared for here in Snezhnaya and here in his arms. ]

You always---

[ The words are a faint whisper lost in the throes of everything else that Zhongli was experiencing. ]

You have always taken care of me.

[ Childe does notice and will shift to mirroring where Zhongli touches after a bit, curious to see if they are indeed pleasant for him. His movements only allow when Zhongli speaks, the harbinger unable to ignore what he says. Ah, no... that's not true. He doesn't want to mislead the other snow something like that and get how can he tell him without bringing up things that may very well trigger that pain. It's worse to let that happen then let a lie continue. It's not as if he plans to use this thinking to his advantage or anything in order to harm the other, so it's fine. ]

There's nothing wrong with that, is there?

[ his voice is low breathed against the upper portion of his collar bone as he goes to press a kiss there before run his tongue along the flesh there.

There's nothing wrong with any of it if they are both happy. ]

[ Zhongli's breath catches and the blush spreads down his neck and to his collarbone as Childe hones in only the most pleasurable sensations. His hips shift in impatience that there are so many layers of clothes between them and that Childe's touch is met with layers of fabric instead of desired skin against skin.

Ah, Zhongli could melt in this moment, burn away to ash under the heat of this pleasure (muted that it was) and not regret a single moment of it. Distracted, the answer Zhongli gives Childe is one that is unfiltered and unprepared unlike his usual meticulous answers: ]

No. No... Of course not. It's endearing. Warm. All of those people who would fall for your charm and yet you chose...

[ To dote on him. To dote on Zhongli. Zhongli who rambles and sometimes misses social cues. Zhongli who is rigid and stubborn and particular and terrible with money. Zhongli who cannot understand what about him catches the attention of one of Snezhnaya's strongest but will not complain about how fortune played out.

It is mutual in some way. For Zhongli cannot quite put into words what draws him to Childe in return. He's assuredly handsome, most definitely charming but their personalities were like night and day, winter and summer. Why does Zhongli want only the fiercest warrior when he should want someone quiet and polite and academic?

But want Zhongli does as a drawn out moan follows the slide of Childe's tongue against his skin. ]

I would not care if it was wrong. I do not care if this does not makes sense.

I just want... I just want—

[ Childe. Childe. Childe ]

[ If Childe wasn't so thoroughly grounded right now, hearing Zhongli say such things would make him question the reality of this situation. How long has he wanted to hear something like that? How long has he wanted Zhongli to see him and only him? To look beyond the past he supposedly wished to retire from and live out his days as a human. It does seem that Zhongli is getting to do that now, and perhaps not remembering his past is the only way this could ever come to pass. Ah, he doesn't want Zhongli to be in the dark, but if he doesn't care enough to find out what's behind him and only what's ahead of him, how can he do anything but oblige? More and more he wonders if this is simply better for the adeptus as much as it is for himself.

A smile presses against Zhongli's skin, sincere and affectionate rather than vicious in any way. ]

Hm~? You want...?

[ okay, the smile is just little bit mischievous now, too. ]

[ Perhaps it is better for the both of them if Zhongli forgets. After all, how much more complicated would things be if Zhongli did remember? Would he had even made his way to Snezhnaya burdened with the baggage of their broken friendship.

(No, he would not. But also closure cannot be found for either of them with Zhongli like this.)

One hand slides up the slit of fabric draped over Childe's stomach — a signature flair of his fashion even here in the lands of ice and snow. Fingertips tease along his ribs and stroke appreciatively the honed muscles and scars he finds scattered there. Zhongli's head lulls unconsciously toward the smile pressed against his skin even as his cheeks flush redder from Childe's teasing.

Warm. It is so warm here. ]

Yes. I want. I want so much that I can not properly put it into words. This feelings that burns when you are near and still smolders in your absence. Ever present.

I want to feel the touch of your passion. I want to offer you the sincerity of my feelings.

I want and I want, Childe.

[ The Harbinger's name is breathed as a prayer as Zhongli kisses whatever part of Childe is within reach. The heels of his dress shoes dig further into Childe's cloak. ]

And I do not know what to do about it.

Let me show you, then. [ His voice is husky but still contains a sincerely affectionate playfulness that he can't and doesn't wish to hide from the other. Later, Childe can mull over what all the things will mean and the consequences of variants paths.

Right now, thin, he simply wants the would to be busy the two of them in this moment. He'll scolds himself later (maybe) that he feels like he's his younger self again, less jaded by reality and entirely (stupidly) hopeful there could be something between them. That somehow his mission wouldn't create bad blood and they would work it out somehow.

(Because love conquers all, right?)

(... yeah, sure, but it requires to be loved just the same as you love, and that almost never— ) ]

You're going to take everything you want and more because I'm going to give it to you all endlessly.

[ Childe presses his lips to Zhongli's ear even as he shifts to further crowd the other against the door. Voice low, he is sure to speak and weave his tone to be just as enticing as his suggestive teasing. If Zhongli's willing then they can go beyond a small preview, right? ]

Where should I start, though? Do you want it to begin by being pleasured against the wall or should I take you to the bed to make love to you first, instead, for the first round~?

[ Zhongli blinks at Childe for a very long time, clearly vexed over being offered such a choice. What does he want? Being pressed against a wall and taken hungrily is very much what he would expect from Childe, impatient and inefficient and prone to challenges that he is. And Zhongli is certain he would find that experience enjoyable, infatuated with the rowdy side of the Snezhnayan diplomate as he is. But to be offered a bed, to call it making love—

That was the Childe who laughed and paid for his purchases whenever he forgot his wallet (that is to say, all the time). That was the Childe who drew him a bath and kept him warm on that first night in Snezhnaya. That was the Childe who offered him his home and his affection and asked for nothing in return as far as Zhongli could tell.

Ah, there really didn't need to be such deliberation, really. Zhongli knew what he wanted their first time to be like. He wanted that softer Childe that he felt affections for that few other saw. It was a bit selfish, seeing how the two of them were currently worked up at the moment (though it would take little to rekindle that passion after moving to the bed.)

But still.

But still— ]

I want you to make love to me.

[ Zhongli wanted to be spoiled. ]

[ Childe does not seem bothered or in any way disappointed with the response (how could he be? for Zhongli to be emotionally attached enough to want to make love instead of just fuck is something beyond his wildest dreams.

Without a word he'll move them both from the wall to bring them to the bed, only shifting Zhongli's weight so he can carry him to the bed. He'll lower the other in his back properly before simply leaving in the rest of the way to kiss the other again without a card about the rest of the situation. He would deal with it as it came— getting the rest of their clothes off, making sure Zhongli was a comfortable ass possible for being taken, and everything else in between — right now all that he wanted to focus on was feeling Zhongli against him and tasting that mouth with enough pain to make up for all the years they were separated. ]

[ Zhongli's smile remains the same, but he can't keep the spark of anticipation from his eyes as they hungrily drink from each motion, each touch. He sinks into the soft sheets and pillows of Childe's bed (the highest quality of course even if it did not seem that Childe usually cared about such a fact), hands reaching up to touch where he could reach.

One drags along the column of Childe's neck, eventually finding rest over the his heart where Zhongli's fingers dig into the fabric of his frustratingly thick uniform shirt. The other explores the curve of his spine, the dip of his waist before settling on one hip, thumb running circles right underneath the hem of his shirt where Zhongli could finally touch skin to skin.

Oh, but he was forgetting something. (Wasn't he always?) But no, this was important. Important if he was going to live here with Childe so that there could be no question of the depths of his feelings. ]

And I wish to make love to you in return.

[ Childe's eyes soften at that declaration. It's not that he had thought it would be one sided, of course, but for Zhongli to be so honest about his feelings... Childe is grateful, even if he knows it's probably also because Zhongli can't remember. Would it be too much to convince himself that Zhongli would still feel the same way, though, even if he had his memories and merely would never say it? He wants desperately to not ever feel some sort of doubt that letting this happen is an indirect way of coercing Zhongli into something he normally wouldn't want.

If only there was a way to tell for sure.

(But Zhongli touches him like Childe would think he would only from years of feelings rather than something that developed only over the months they've since been together. Even if it was only realized during that time, that could mean something was there even when Zhongli remembered everything, even if he would have never acted on it or hinted to it. Zhongli seems really happy and Childe is happy, too, so really... it's okay, isn't it? To not have to worry he's taking advantage of the other somehow.)

Despite his thoughts, he doesn't show much in terms of hesitation to react and return the affectionate touches continuing. He will speak quietly though, murmuring his words against the soft skin at the other's neck. ]

I will savor this as it will definitely be nothing short of perfect. [ his fingers move over nipples to pin and tear these them. His last words are heated and wet before he ultimately goes to kiss and lick the length of the consultant's pretty neck. ]

Just like you.

[ It's impossible to say where Zhongli would be right now had the erosion not taken hold. Would he still be in Liyue, quietly reminiscing over the one rascal of Snezhnaya who came as a means to an end but ending up being so much more? Would his own insecurities keep him from reaching out, content with the safety of his memories rather the possibilities of a rejection? Not even as a lover but just for the friendship that the two of them had shared. For Zhongli did fondly think of the Harbinger well after he left Liyue. Enough that those memories were the ones that remained while so many others crumbled away.

So it's easy to touch Childe like he's been wanting to for years. The body remembers what the mind cannot. And Zhongli's hands remember reaching for Childe's to correct how he held his chopsticks. His eyes remember following Childe, a blur of chaos and laughter, as he reveled in all that was Liyue. His mouth remembers struggling to form the words of an apology that was long overdue.

Those same hands fist deeper into the thick fabric of Childe's clothes as Childe touches him in ways he hadn't even dreamed of being touched. His eyes fall half-lidden and his mouth exhales a sound that is somehow shaky and needy and reverent all in one. The touch, the sights, the sounds— everything crystallizing into clear vibrant memories to take the place of that which was lost.

All while Zhongli is unaware just why this feels so so right. Why it feels like a part of him that was gaping open and bleeding is now given a chance to heal. ]

Childe—

Embarrassing.

You're. so. embarrassing.

[ Zhongli tips his head back to give Childe more of his neck to lavish attention on. Fingers fumble with the front of his coat so that he can touch Childe, too, in the same way that he's being touched. That would be fair. Fair. Fair. All things should be fair. ]

If it's you—

If it's you, Childe. It's already perfect.

[ The airy laugh is adoring in crystal clarity, but there is no real point at which it stops and something else begins to take its place. It's all soft and sincere and gentle and realin a way being around Childe and whatnot never usually is—or, at least if Zhongli remembered such things. Not that it matters, for ultimately the one thing that can be taken away from the harbinger's actions is that whatever has been and was between them pales in comparisonp he to what is between them right now. Childe is serious and sincere in a way that is only for Zhongli, and no words are necessary to convey how exclusive this is to Zhongli and Zhongli only. ]

I've always liked your idea of perfect, if I'm honest. [ his voice is sweet as it tickles up against the shell of the consultant's ear even as his hands continue to explore and spoil. He takes time to make this sensual and meaningful, but he's also well aware they are pressed for time accepting to the finger they were trying to assist with earlier.

(It's still plenty enough time to pamper Zhongli, to make him feel pleasure to new heights, and to absolutely demonstrate just how much it means. By the time he gets between the others legs, he's having to exercise some control in continuing the pace he intended. He won't mess this up by jumping the gun.

He can't. )

A gentle hum escapes his lips, tracing along the others's inner thighs where it would be most sensitive to a foreign touch to draw out enticement for the next step without touching anywhere truly capable of producing that pleasure.. ]

I think it's safe to say that only your opinion matters, so if you feel that way... then I'm glad. Do you think you might want to direct me on where to touch you next?

[ A bright flush creeps up Zhongli's cheeks at Childe's words, warmed by the care and attention that he has been so carefully receiving. Perhaps if he was just a funeral parlor consultant, he would have been too embarrassed to ask for something so directly. Or perhaps with his exacting standards, he would have known exactly how he wanted this to play out according to theories he had read or scholars he had listened to.

Zhongli — however — does none of those things as one hand slips between them to catch the hand teasing his inner thighs. He laces their fingers together, holding Childe tight as he moves their joined hands right to his heated core with is already at attention with arousal even through the remaining layers of their clothing. A slightly uncomfortable sensation if not for the wealth of pleasure the rest of him was feeling.

His eyes never look away from Childe's, deep and fond like one willingly drowning in the depths of a merman's song: ]

Here.

I don't want to have to wait for you any longer.