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[ Chili one-shots ]

[ Childe doesn't know how any of this constitutes as 'all right,' but the Snezhnayan doesn't speak up, unsure if anything he says might somehow trigger something like that again.
What should he do?

The concern lessens after a moment of looking at Zhongli's face as if searching for something, a light sigh escaping him as he lets his scarf fall away without care that it's stained. ]

If you're sure... [ Childe steps back now, trying to offer a reassuring smile. ] I'll be back quickly.

[ Childe is true to his word, although in n the way back he's slowed some due to carrying the tray of the hot tea and its teacups. He'll enter the bathroom, announcing "I'm back!" while hoping Zhongli is simply content in the tub enjoying the warmth now rather than bleeding everywhere or worse.

Childe needs to talk to the Tsaritsa and ask her to help. Surely with Celestia still existing, even if in an altered form, giving Zhongli back his gnosis could help with what is happening to him.

(He knows what she'll say, though. That it won't reverse it even though it might slow it, that to try and stop the erosion— he remembers the Traveler telling him about it now in detail related to Zhongli's old friend and to another god of Liyue now— would be no different than torture and a cruelty to prolong the effects. If Childe really did care about Zhongli's wellbeing, then he best see to end of life care techniques that would be used to keep the terminally ill with as high a quality life as possible. It would be selfish to think of anything else.)

Why can't he just go along with it? If he heard Zhongli had died, it wouldn't affect him like he feels affected right now with the other here with him. Is that simply an out of sight, out of mind thing? Why is Childe letting himself get caught up in this? It's going to end with Zhongli disappearing— either physically or mentally.

( He doesn't like it... this bitter, uncomfortable feeling in his belly. ) ]

Feeling any better? I'm sure the tea will help if you aren't.

[ When Childe returns, Zhongli is fully immersed in the bath, suds and bubbles piled high around him as the room now smells of a sun-warmed hilly Sumeru landscape. It seems in the Harbinger's absence, Zhongli has managed to find one of the loofas Childe mentioned earlier as he alternates between scrubbing at his limbs as well as indulging in the various other oils and moisturizes that he has pulled from the countertops. In fact, almost half a dozen bottles have been opened for the first time, lined neatly in the bath's alcove by color, size and purpose. Zhongli brushes a stray lock of hair from his face, hair tied up into a neat bun as he turns to look fondly in Childe's direction. ]

This bath is quite exquisite. Snezhnaya is truly a marvel of technology.

[ It seems that the warmth has done wonders for more than just Zhongli's mood as his "skin" takes on a warmed pink color as if it was actually forged of flesh instead stone. He carefully sets the loofa on the lip of the bath as he physically turns, hands folded over that same edge.

Completely oblivious to Childe's own internal turmoil: ]

Tea during a bath?

[ There's a small chuckle as he watches Childe approach. ]

I would tease that that the Vanguard lives so indulgently, but I noticed that you have not enjoyed any of this luxury personally.

It's good to keep your insides warm like your outsides. [ Childe chirps. He sets the tea down now, reaching to take one of Zhongli's hands in his own so he can inspect the skin. It does look good, and when looking at his face, it reaffirms that for him. he sighs with some relief. Letting his hand go, the harbinger will move to pour some tea for Zhongli into the teacup and leave it within reach should the other wish to take it.

He smiles almost sheepishly at the comment. ] Oh, haha, well... i come from a small fishing village in a remote part of Snezhnaya. I'm not used to these things. [ he says, as if he hasn't by now lived as a harbinger for almost as long as he lived as a child in the village. He'll come to kneel down at the side of the tub, propping his arms up curiously to look at the other. ] It's almost just too much choice. When it comes to things that I'm not passionate about, too much choice makes it hard for me to pick even though it should be easier. So I just stick to what I know most of the time.

I'm perfectly happy making use of the items by spoiling others— like you.

[ Zhongli does not immediately go for the tea, warmed as he is by the bath and more importantly Childe's presence. If he takes it now, then the Harbinger will certainly sit back to give him space to drink, and for some reason that Zhongli cannot articulate, the thought makes him uneasy. Something about a missed opportunity but he has no idea what opportunity he could be missing. Regardless, the tea can be enjoyed later, and so Zhongli leans in closer. ]

Always the charmer. Would it help if I chose for you instead?

[ With his free hand, Zhongli snags one of the longer locks framing Childe's face - the fiery strand wrapped around his forefinger. For a moment, he looks at it with such an intense scrutiny that perhaps Childe should be concerned whether he has split ends or not. (He doesn't. Probably.) Then with a thoughtful hum, Zhongli pulls back his hand and lets the lock fall back to its original messy position.

He props his chin in said hand, squeezing the hand that is still carefully cradled in Childe's and raises one eyebrow at him. ]

Did you change your mind about joining me?

Yeah, actually, it would.

[ Ah, well this is very Zhongli-like, isn't it, fussing over his hair? (Childe wouldn't be surpass if here had split ends, he hasn't spent much time in his appearance like he did back in Liyue (which was pretty much all because of Zhongli, anyway) short of diplomatic business.

He'll lean a bit closer himself, curious before realizing he did say he would join him. ] Huh? Of course not, I'm just making sure everything's good for you before I get in, too. I'll go get the robes for when we're done if everything is to your liking and then join you.

[ There is a small tug of a frown when Zhongli realizes that Childe will not be joining him immediately and that more fussing is to be had. It's understandable. Not only did Childe loathe standing still for any particular reason, but he could have a doting nature when it came to particular pet projects of his - like helping a young childe looking for a lost toy.

(That should sound some warning bells in Zhongli's own mind about their current engagement but he chooses to ignore it. A blessing really - to be given the choice to be ignorant about some things.

And so, Zhongli looks past Childe, back to the many bottles that we stacked so neatly across the marble countertop. ]

Then I shall require the moisturizer from Fontaine and the bath salts from Inazuma as well before you step in. I already have the silkflower oil from Liyue here with me.

[ And true to his word, the silkflower oil is settled behind him with the other bottles he pilfered from Childe's stash. ]

Otherwise I require nothing else outside of your company.

Sure thing.

[ Childe will get up and leave the bathroom only to return a moment later with evening robes that a quite a bit heavier than anything from Liyue. They're also soft like velvet fur, but Zhongli will find that out afterwards.

Hanging the robes up, he'll move to grab the requested items (which takes him a moment of actually looking) before turning back with them to head over to Zhongli and set them down for him. With that done, the harbinger wastes little time stripping his clothes off, only realizing as he does so that he can't remember the last time he shared a bath with anyone. He wasn't willing to be that intimately affectionate, especially considering most of the people he met were incredibly underwhelming. Politics just made such people even worse.

...Not that it's awkward to be doing so with Zhongli (which is probably really a bad thing because Childe needs to be careful not to get carried away or this is going to turn into a mess.) It's just... nostalgic. In a way Childe isn't sure how to describe.

Ignoring it, he'll finally go to climb into the tub, too, blinking when he settles in taking a full seat and seeing they aren't squished together. That's how often he uses this thing— he's surprised by the size of it. ]

Oh, ha, this is pretty roomy.

[ Zhongli makes a small tut of disapproval at the comment, already halfway through adding the bottles to his unique and stringent ordering system. Really now. Did Childe even use this bath at all?

(No, probably not based on the expression on his face.) ]

It is.

And bought luxuries are meant to be enjoyed. Otherwise you are not getting your mora's worth out of them. So if you would please---

[ And Zhongli makes a hand gesture that Childe should turn around and face away from. Yes, that would make working with his hair easier. Without waiting to see if Childe has plans to comply, he is already picking up one of the bottles and generously lathering his hands with the contents. ]

[ apparently that idea of enjoying bought luxuries goes over Childe's head with the innocently blank expression that follows (but no, it's not exactly that so much as he well recalls buying thing after thing for Zhongli, and always finding it plenty worth it by watching the other enjoy them. Zhongli was certainly true to his words. Thinking a moment on it, he does go to turn around as asked mostly aware that the other seems to want to... cater to him. Zhongli really... remembers nothing about what happened between them. Would he be so content to stay with Childe, be in even such an intimate position with him as now? A part of him feels the time of guilt for pretending like it never happened, but it's obvious already he can't simply dump information into Zhongli and have him easily retain it all and simply remember. If anything, him trying to remember only seemed to hurt him physically. But that child should care about the other's physical well being, but it's obvious he does feel something there that doesn't want to see Zhongli hurt like this.

( "How can you ask that of me with such a sincere expression after what just happened at the bank? Do I really so easily fall into your web that you are confident I'll still be strung along?!" )

With his face away from Zhongli, his expression falls. Zhongli remembers none of that, and he's so different than what Childe would expect even with the other remembering only good times between them. Some things should be ingrained in muscle memory that feel habitual, though, right? Shouldn't Zhongli instinctively know there's at least something about Childe that signals he should want nothing to do with him? Why would catering him like wanting to bathe him feel natural to the once geo-archon?

Not that Zhongli never did such a thing back then, but that was ... different back then.

—He'd gone and turned so much more self-destructive after abruptly losing all contact with Zhongli. He went and did things that make him roll his eyes now at how stupid he had been all in an emotional tirade and subconscious desire to get back at the other. Since he couldn't harm the other, then harming himself because of Zhongli's actions would surely do the trick wouldn't it? (How ridiculous for him in an emotionally immature response to default to that all over the other playing him by pretending he cared when the only way Zhongli would even bat an eye to such would be if he cared to some degree?)

It's not as if he ever went through with throwing it in Zhongli's face, either. Perhaps he was too embarrassed by his actions to try and put into what so easily seemed like a good idea at the time. Alcohol makes everything easier to just do rather than consider. . After all, it wasn't hard in the underbelly of Liyue to find those all too willing to take advantage of someone like him looking to violate himself in an attempt to get back at his... whatever Zhongli had been to him back then. it didn't seem to make sense and bother trying to figure out exactly what that was when it didn't matter.

(He remembers the day he was leaving for Snezhnaya, having been called back to start searching for the Balladeer and fully intending to make a stop to see Zhongli one last time. To see if he could get something out of that expression that was a hint of ...anything if he saw the violent bruising in the form of fingers and nails wrapped about his throat. )

He feels it again... the same feeling of self-disgust back then that caused him to wear his scarf differently and pull the jacket collar of his uniform up to hide his neck as he left for Liyue's docks without so much as meeting a glance of the individuals he passed on by. Everything felt so worthless. That ride back had been unusually quiet as he sulked in private the majority of the time. Throwing himself back into his missions like he always had done at least cured that ailment.

Enjoying luxuries were meant for people who believed themselves worth pampering, anyway, right? Childe had at least stopped that behavior finally years ago ( even if he still had moments where the need to do it all over again, being self-aware of how much it would break his pride afterwards the one thing holding him back from slipping. He always regretted it the next morning, but he also silently appreciated that each time it happened it drew him further and further away from ever believing happiness could lie in the interactions of a partnership that included such intimacy.

What a sham such things were. Maybe others could pretend that was the case, but a Childe called the hard reality if only do he could never make the same mistake with anyone ever again. (not that there was ever anyone else.)

Surely Zhongli with no memory and acting so naturally attached is Celestia's cruel way to further dig the knife in that he will never be accepted as a child of the Seven no matter how much her Majesty doted on him. That even for her, he would always be a means to an end, a sacrifice worth offering.

(That's the best that it gets in his cast lot for such things, after all.

The fact the one individual that made him think even for a moment that he could find happiness by simply being with another and sharing days together is now amnesic with it most likely signaling death is close behind. How long would that be for Zhongli though? Years, decades, centuries? )

A small sigh will escape the harbinger in defeat. Perhaps the only option for him, too, is to forget all that stuff himself. ]

Hm, so I'm not letting you go back out today, but is there anything you want to plan for tomorrow? Your choice.

[ Oblivious to Childe's inner turmoil (a fact that would be true even if Zhongli did retain his memories), Zhongli reaches for the first bottle - the silkflower oil from Liyue. With a audible pop of the cap opening, he pours some liberally into his palm, rubbing his hands together to warm the oil to a pleasant temperature.

He starts at the junction of neck and shoulder, those stiff portions of muscle that built up through either over exertion through battle or Childe's hunched posture over his paperwork. Carefully he kneads at the skin there, starting slow as his hands work ever so slightly lower and lower until they press in the dip between Childe's shoulderblades. The motions are measured and rhythmic, already adding to the growing peace and relaxation that is slowly warming Zhongli even more than the heated bath is. ]

My choice?

[ Zhongli does not question why he should not be allowed out for the rest of the day. Childe would know best how to handle the climate and culture of Snezhnaya, so he would defer to his judgement.

The promise of excitement tomorrow also is quite effective as a distraction. ]

I wish to eat your favorite dish prepared in the way you think is most authentic to your culture.

You told me so much of the warm and filling foods of your homeland. It would be a shame not to try them now that you are here to help me experience them properly.

[ Favorite dish.... Childe does extremely well not to tense up at that, somehow already coming to terms with this sort of thing occurring having to be understood as the norm. He still doesn't understand why Zhongli has forgotten so much but somehow remembers him enough to come halfway around Teyvat to locate him.

Instead, he focuses on the feeling of hands massaging him, deciding to think hard on when the last time he had anything like a massage such as this... probably the time Tonya wanted to try and replicate one technique from a spa he took her to, and he ended up with a pulled muscle from her being just a little too ... let's just say unrefined in her new craft. ]

Okay, I'll make a special version just for you, Xiansheng~! [ he chirps with a smile even if it can't be seen by the older man. A special version... without fish. Surely, he can adjust the recipe (he feels like maybe he had even started doing this back in Liyue but never got to present it,) it's not as if all of Snezhnaya has access to fish and it's a countrywide staple. There's good meat to be found, and surely the spices can be put together for something that the adeptus will more likely enjoy.

He blinks back his eyes from watering, going to rub at them and wondering if he got something in them or he's just that unused to the bath and its gentle steam.

( haha, there's no reason to be upset. he can keep Zhongli with him the less he remembers, right? So anything he remembers is really just a danger that he might suddenly somehow remember that none of this is his things are—! )

Besides, he remembered what Childe said about the food to him even if he doesn't remember that he already knows well that Childe is incredibly fond of fish— wait, no, is it that he doesn't actually remember he himself doesn't like fish, instead?

... Ah ha, no that's ridiculous. It might be both, but how could it be him remembering Childe's likes and not his own dislikes?

Maybe he's just too old to keep up the charade for himself that this misfortune could somehow become a boon for the harbinger. It could, of course— but that has nothing to do with their relationship and everything to do with if he still had to retrieve a gnosis from the other. There's no way to steal the true heart of someone in this manner, even if he somehow believed it could be done. Nothing comes to mind or has since he started thinking of it beyond every memory coming forward reminding him how impossible it is. He wonders briefly if he thinks this is awful for Zhongli when in reality the memory loss perhaps may very well be strangely easier without the burden of millenia for the old Archon.

Cautiously, he asks with concern: ] Are you really okay, Zhongli-xiansheng? You don't remember a lot of things, but it doesn't hurt, you said, right? Did the doctor in Liyue provide you anything to take to help with the symptoms? I want to make sure you are comfortable from now on.

[ Surely he can do something even if he can't win Zhongli's heart even with so many memories lost. why does not having that still upset him.... what good would that do, would it even be real if it was possible? No, probably not, feelings and memories go hand and hand, afterall. Right now he just wants to hug onto Zhongli and never let him go. Never let anyone hurt him or take anything else away from him.

... isn't Zhongli the cause of so much of Childe's own hurt, though? It's so easy to act like that never happened when presented with this affectionate (it's not affection, is it, it's just desperation for something or someone he knows and can ground him as still belonging somewhere.)

I want it to be real affection though, even if it's too late...

(Is this any way to live? Does Zhongli even want to live in a world where everything he loves and knows is slowly scraped away by a knife that can cut through stone?)

Stop caring. Stop acting like that idiot you were when you first stepped off the boat in that foreign country.

Isn't it funny that Zhongli's presence and predicament has the harbinger sinking beneath the waves of the past: a place he isn't welcome, a place he can never belong to. Then again, is the future all that different? If even an Archon can have their self erased away with time.... what hope do humans and anything lesser have?

What an awful way to think about life. ]

So... just tell me when something upsets you or hurts or anything like that, okay?

[ Maybe pretending is what Childe has really always been best at: maybe pretending is all he has to offer Zhongli in the end. If only he could stop himself, but it seems he's a glutton for punishment no matter how well he knows better. ]

[ If Zhongli could know what he had forgotten, he'd be able to explain it more concretely to Childe. The time as Morax and Rex Lapis is almost completely wiped clean from his memory, leaving only the funeral parlor consultant behind. With no Morax to remember, then there is no battle with Osial and no task to clean up the harbor of all the unsightly creatures left in his wake. Thus, the reason for Zhongli's aversion to fish disappeared with it, the root of the issue always more of a psychological problem than one of taste.

But there is no way that can be conveyed. Zhongli can only remember talking with Childe about his favorite dish - one very similar to a dish in Mondstadt no less. But no memory of ever tasting it - strange, considering all the other things that they had shared. So certainly it must be because they came to a silent understanding that Zhongli's first experience should happen in Snezhnaya. A promise made and to be fulfilled. And that was all the more reason for Zhongli to seek Childe out.

Zhongli's hand press lower, following the curve of Childe's spine as he works over every knot and muscle. He has no memory of performing such an intimate act with Childe and yet, everything feels natural and easy. Like stepping into a pair of worn but well fitting shoes before heading out for the day.

Yes. It was here that Zhongli was meant to be. ]

I know my current predicament is quite... alarming and difficult for you. But I assure you that I am not in pain. Dizzy and disoriented sometimes, but those are minor symptoms. Nothing that required treatment and no treatment for anything that needed it.

[ But ah, Zhongli can hear the concern in Childe's voice and while it is quite distressing to know that you are the source of a loved one pain (yes, loved one - Childe was a dear friend and one that Zhongli loves), there is comfort there as well. He knew Childe. And Childe knew him. Near the end of his time in Liyue, there was encounter after encounter of seeing those worried faces and hearing panic in unknown voices, but being unable to attach a name or a memory to many of those people. It was cruel - to both them and Zhongli - to make them suffer through that.

(This is also cruel to Childe and when the memories of the Harbinger start to fade, he will say his goodbyes while he still knew who he was and then disappear. No one, especially those he loved, deserved such a fate as to see him in his final days.)

But that was tomorrow's problem. Today - today was the first time Zhongli had felt hope in a very very long time. ]

It feels better now. To be here, with you.

I see. I'll make sure you're a comfortable as possible so you can sleep tonight, then. [ he'll glance back over his shoulder with a smile that looks reassured for the most part by the other's words. ]

Does it really? Not that I'm unhappy to hear it, but I wonder what you must feel about me for you to still recall me while many others in Liyue you could confide in. Regardless... you don't have to be alone anymore., and if being here is really helping you, then I can only be grateful you made it here... even if I don't approve of your lack of being properly dressed for this type of climate. I'll make sure you have proper outdoor wear from now on.

[ he's trying not to admit it but Zhongli's hands feel good on his skin. Thinking like that is getting too comfortable, though, isn't it? Even if he's sure Zhongli isn't going me with him again if he lets himself Lower his guard around him, but he knows that it'll end badly for the both of them with Zhongli's condition. Zhongli will eventually forget him and that could be as soon as tomorrow.

Still, he wants to actually help, and it doesn't seem right to be keeping his guard up with Zhongli as he does so. So unless he is willing to just... soothe Zhongli and not feel anything while feeling something?

That sounds like an even worse idea. ]

[ Zhongli's hands pause for a moment in their motions across Childe's skin. He had said that many times now - that he was surprised Zhongli came to him of all people; that he would take care of him and make sure that he didn't feel alone.

Had he felt alone? Is that why he was here? ]

I suppose there are others that I could confide in. And others whose company I could keep.

[ But when he looks back on his life in Liyue---

He seems himself working at the funeral parlor, the director both his boss and a friend, but she is quite young still - more likely to spend her free time with Xiangling and those two boys... ah, the names had escaped him again. But he was certain, yes, there were two young men around their age. He sees himself in his free time, listening to poems of Liyue's history and traditions and watching operas of Yun Jin Troupe. He sees himself wandering the markets, pleasantly greeting shopkeeper and shopper alike. He sees so many people in his life.

But none capture his attention like the Harbinger as he makes a pleased noise at a new dish Zhongli picked for him to try. None warm him like the volley of questions that come with each story, not matter how old or dry the content. None lighten the weight like Childe taking Zhongli's hand and plopping the item he'd be glancing at for weeks in his palm with a smile and a "I'll pay for this one, Xiansheng" as if that was the exception rather than the norm.

The comparison of the two feelings --- ah, well, it's not even comparable at all.

He looks up to return Childe's smile with a small but reassuring one of his own, shaky as it might be in his confusion. ]

But your star is the brightest to me.

[ There's no reason to keep pressing it when Zhongli says something like that, is there? He's given him enough chances to reflect on it that if what he saw happen earlier was the norm should he try to think on something he really can't recall, then he'd only be bringing pain forward. (And, even if he wanted to see Zhongli suffer for everything, like that wasn't the right kind of way. )

So that's that then. He'll nod before turning around fully so he can lean and kiss Zhongli on the forehead before giving him an affectionate rub of their Cheeks together before pulling back. ]

That is very nice to hear. Thank you for it.

Anyway, so, I'll order in something good for us, too, in a bit
Something with a lot of water content and nothing too heavy in case you haven't been eating well recently.

[ Zhongli blinks up owlishly at the kiss to the forehead, brow crinkling in confusion before it smooths to an affectionate smile of his own. Something feels... off, though he cannot place it. He does not believe Childe is lying to him - or at least not about taking care of him and the promise to stay by his side. Promises were as important to Childe as contracts were to the land of Liyue. He would not go back on them. But there is something else. Something that buzzes in the back of his head and throbs when he tries to concentrate on it, so Zhongli does not. Perhaps it is the shock of Zhongli's illness - he was renowned throughout Liyue about being to remember even the most minute details of culture and history so it must be quite an adjustment. So maybe---

(No. No, it is not that. There is something larger lurking in the shadows and empty spaces of his memory Something that he needs to address. Something that he came here to do. Something that prompted him to head toward these snowy lands.

Ah, but why can't he remember?)

He reaches up to catch Childe's face in between his hands, thumbing over the apple of his cheeks softly. ]

Your generosity is as bottomless as I remember, and believe me when I say I appreciate it wholeheartedly.

But I do not need to be treated like such fragile glass. Ill though I may be, I made the journey here from Liyue, did I not? I came here to make new memories with you, not to add to your list of responsibilities. Which must be quite long considering the opulence of your current station.

[ Zhongli lets out a small chuckle, unbearably fond. ]

For each kindness that you show me, will you allow me to reciprocate one in return? A contract of sorts - but in Snezhnaya we should label them properly as promises, yes?

[ he isn't a kid anymore, and it's funny to think of himself as a kid back then when it was less than a decade ago. Then again, for someone who has silently come to terms with his own mortality, and that there's probably not much left to his life to burn further, that feels like forever ago. Is that just another example of the completely separate worlds they come from? Zhongli doesn't remember, but it doesn't change the facts, either.

But he feels like a kid again when Zhongli holds his face like that, when he sees that fondness and affection that he thought he saw once upon a time back then but realized it had all been his imagination.

He puffs his cheeks out a bit, admittedly not having a good argument to counter with. It's true Zhongli did get here on his own. And he isn't suffering physically for the most part. There's a helpless sigh that escapes him in defeat, but why is he being punished specifically like this? Zhongli didn't come here to make memories, that's just the endearing positive on circumstance.

Why did you come here? Do you remember me only because you hate me, too?

He really can't figure it out.

Still, Childe can't help but prefer whatever farce this is in front of him to his cruel thoughts. Because in the end it really is a farce no matter how real Zhongli now might want this to be. It's a farce because he's missing exactly what confirmed their time together was never realistic in the first place.

( ... but, all right... when has he ever done anything other than continously indulge the other, anyway? That's probably what he's recalling and interpreting as generosity, as well. ) ]

Aha, all right. I can let you reciprocate since you asked so nicely. [ and yet Zhongli remembers stupid subtle unimportant things that he should have forgotten with his mind deteriorating as it is. The idea of contracts and promises and their equal significance is simmering he should have long forgotten or even simply failed to think of in this context. It's not even to do with memory loss so much as almost anyone would fail to bring that up after so long simply because there were such large gaps to fill in with broader, less intimate, and less intricate information. So why does he bring it up so easily like it's something he kept in his thoughts daily? ]

Mhm, you got it. Promises.

[ he wants to just so thinking about this already, but Zhongli keeps hitting the right buttons that it seems like it's out of his control.

I know you would never allow yourself to break a contract, but what promises could you hope to make me that won't be broken when you'll soon forget them all, anyway? ]

Okay okay, as you like, then. I'm listening right now~!

[ Admittedly, it all feels like trying to make amends right now more bthan feasibly create new promises and new memories, even if Zhongli can't remember anything he might want to make amends for. Such nitpicking isn't revealing a big deal in the long run, of course, if it makes Zhongli hap—

...Oh.

(... Did you come here to die on me, Xiansheng? You wouldn't do that to me... ...or would you? ) ]

[ No, dear Childe. Zhongli did not come here to die. Or at least he did not come knowingly.

For all of his mythical dragon and qilin lineage, Zhongli has also inherited many characteristics of a cat. He's fiercely independent and goes where he wants and does what he wants without care for the standards that others live their lives. His ideals and way of life are his own. And like a cat, when his time comes, there is a secluded cave buried within the mountains of Liyue that he we slink to and curl up, never to be seen by mortal eyes again. (Though he does not know this now. It is something only to be known when the last animal instincts within him clamor to be heard.)

The smile he gives Childe is brilliant, no longer a timid hushed thing, as he presses a kiss to the tip of his nose.

It feels right, being here. It feels right, doing this. And it feels right, being affectionate with Childe.

Even with the chill clinging to him like like a shawl draped over his thin frame, Zhongli looks much healthier than he did when he arrived at the Harbinger's office. The cracks have faded to nearly invisible seams. His skin glows with more than just the warmth of the bath. And he leans in mischievously, nose to nose, as if he is imparting a great secret. ]

Excellent.

Then if you are taking care of the next few meals, I must request that I be allowed to cook one for you as well in the next three days. Do your markets get fresh imports from Liyue and Mondstadt?

Huh? You shouldn't... ah, I mean guess I could ask if the kitchen is free at some point if you really want to...

[ he can't just let Zhongli wander around unsupervised. It's amazing that Nadia and Vlad found him before someone else like another Harbinger.

He should probably bring Zhongli home, anyway, rather than have him stay in the palace. He can probably take some time off since he hadn't in so long. Not having moved, he also realizes that their noses are still touching which means... he can't help but blush a little awkwardly as he mutters out an answer (finally) to the question. ]

U-usually. I'm not sure what is in season but there are some sellers that specialize in those imports since Snezhayan has been making an effort for foreigners to feel more at home when they are here. [ The Fatui have been a bit less aggressive over the years but Snezhnayans are quick to capitalize on anything they can from students from abroad to tourists to workers or those joining the Fatui bringing along their families. It's been a while since Childe has gone to these places on his own, however. ]

[ If Zhongli takes notice of Childe's blush, he does not say anything but nor does he seem interested in pulling back from the other. Or not too far at least as he reaches for the bath salts next to liberally sprinkle into the water. He seems appeased, no that is not quite strong enough word for it - excited by Childe's answer and presence. Continued presence if Childe is hinting that he will be allowed to stay for at least a few days.

Zhongli had no expectations for what would happen after he found Childe again = only contingency plans for if he was turned away (and those half-forgotten most of the time). So to be here and to be allowed here for a while longer, finally the fluttering uneasiness in his chest had quieted to a contented hum. Finally he was feeling a sense of peace which had been eluding him for months if not years now. ]

Then might I impose you to direct me to the markets later so that I may make some purchases.

It will also give me something to pass the time while you are busy with your own duties.

[ Because it wasn't like Zhongli expected Childe to drop everything and take care of him. He wasn't an invalid - just forgetful. And with the right precautions and muscle memory to guide him, he should be able to co-exist in a way that would not burden Childe's day-to-day. (Burdening Childe's heart and mind was a different matter entirely.) ]

[ It's been weeks since Zhongli arrived in Snezhnaya, cold and shivering and confused and left practically in Childe's lap by his subordinates. Weeks since Childe had taken him in and back to his home. Weeks for Zhongli to learn the ins and outs of life in the capital city of the Land of Ice and Snow and start to grow accustomed to being in a country outside of Liyue.

Zhongli seems to adjust to it well enough. Not once does he forget Childe during his weeks there no matter how long they are separated. Not once does his memories falter of their shared time in Liyue nor any of his duties as a funeral parlor consultant. In fact, the longer he spends with Childe, the more memories of Hu Tao and Xiangling and other familiar faces drift back to Zhongli. His eyes and smiles are brighter, his compression healthier, and his burdens seemingly lighter as he makes his way back to Childe's home, bag full with his purchases from the market. Of course, Childe insists that Zhongli does not have to do the shopping (there are subordinates for that), but Zhongli does so anyway arguing that it's good for him to get out and about and meet people. It helps with his memory - a claim that seems to be substantiated by the fact that the roster of Snezhnaya merchants was slowly being built just as he was familiar with those from Liyue.

(There are times, though, if Childe were to whisper mentions of Rex Lapis or Morax, that the bright visage falters and hairline cracks begin to spider across the surface of his skin. Depending on how long Childe persists, they expand and grow until Zhongli retreats to the comfort of his room and falls into a deep unnatural sleep before emerging a few days later with no recollection of any of it happening.)

Today is not one such day, however, as Zhongli carefully removes his mittens, breathing warmth into his hands so that he may fetch the keys from his heavy wool Snezhnayan coat and open the door to their shared home. He steps inside, carefully removing the wet and heavy layers to not drip water into the house as he begins to search the halls for Childe, bag still carefully tucked over his arm. ]

Childe.

I've returned.

[ Childe has not let it show, but he has observed Zhongli intensely over the weeks and how he is doing. It's surprising, honestly, the difference in how Zhongli is improving, at least in him being able to maintain new memories, rather than declining as Childe has ultimately come to anticipate. Afterall, he's never known of anyone with a deteriorating mind to do anything but possibly stall the inevitable. For Zhongli to be able to make and retain new memories isn't stalling, though. Even if he never remembers anything he's forgotten (—although seems to be recalling names and faces that Childe also knew while in Liyue,) if he can make be one and not loose them, then does it really matter?

( Only when Morax is brought up does Zhongli suddenly regress, those fractures showing until Zhongli retreats and doesn't re-emerge for several days. During that time, Childe returns to his normal daily routine as if Zhongli being there has been nothing more than a hallucination. After it happening twice, however, and then seeing it start again for a third time, Childe pulled back and swapped the subjects to something else having nothing to do with the once Archon's name. He has avoided Mentone of such things since. )

Childe doesn't understand why, of course, but so far nothing else has triggered those situations. Offhandedly, he wonders how bad this will work itself out to. Zhongli will want to leave at some point, right? If he returns telling his friends in Liyue who he stayed with, are they going to remind Zhongli of what he did? ( For some reason, he does not seem to have a memory of that. ) Will Zhongli be upset with him for not telling him first? Will he not believe those in Liyue? Or will that too cause that condition to flair up again?

He doesn't know.

(Could there be another option? Could it end up that Zhongli just wants to stay here for the rest of his life?)

It's absurd to even get his hopes up for that. Why would he be getting his hopes up in the first place, though, again?

It's been a lot less lonely. Zhongli is like the Zhongli the Fatui Harbinger fell for in Liyue before his own world came crashing down at the truth being revealed. He threw those emotions away, though, promised himself never to let them get the best of him again. He didn't need friends. He didn't need a life partner.

(Yet Zhongli is already so much more to him in a few weeks than he was the entire time in Liyue. The sincerity and affection is as incredible as it is agonizing.)

The Lord Harbinger closes his eyes and mentally sighs even as he listens to the attractive young woman chattering away and completely ignoring the fact that he's distracted and not really hearing much of anything she says.

When Zhongli returns, the girl immediately stops speaking (at the door penning so Zhongli is not actually interupting her,) glancing from her incredibly forward position of sitting on the edge of the Harbinger's desk, shoes off and swinging her legs idly. Childe's own eyes snap open as if suddenly awake at hearing Zhongli say his name and immediately responds with a typical prerehesrsed smile. ]

Zhongli-xiansheng, welcome back.

[ the young woman is staring somewhat suspiciously at the other, although with an equal sense of curiosity. She is overall not particularly decent to be seen by anyone in public as she's gotten herself comfy and taken off the more conservative pieces of her uniform. She looks like she's here to stay for the evening. Blue eyes blink once at hearing the name and how readily Childe comes to attention for the Liyuen, before glancing at Childe and then Zhongli and back to Childe again, this time giving him an annoyed (jealous?) look. ]

"So this is what you've been hiding from me! I knew it.""

[ Childe shrugs almost sheepishly but certainly not enough to be anything like an attempt at apology. Nimbly the woman twists by bracing her hands on the desk to roll her hips and brings over one socked foot to intentionally shove into the side of his head with a hmph! before fully rolling herself off the desk. ] "That's all you have for your defense? Stop staring it's impolite!"

[ with a huff, she is now coming from the desk over to Zhongli with a pretty smile, her blue eyes practically glistening and her ginger colored hair beautifully kept in style. The girl takes pride in her overall appearance, that much is clear. She's pretty and she knows it well enough not to feel self-conscious. ]

"Zhongli—" [ she pauses to brace herself to make sure she pronounces it as correctly as possible. ] "—xiansheng! I didn't know you were in Snezhnaya, it's nice to meet you finally! Do you need help with those? "

[ she looks very eager to help take those off of Zhongli since he carried them all the way here so he can instead talk with Childe if he wants. Although before her gives her the stuff (or even if he gives her nothing) she will turn to look back at Childe and bring one hand up to have her middle and index finger point at her eyes and then turn them to point them both at him. It's the classical I'm watching you gesture. The harbinger looks almost offended before sticking his tongue out at her as soon as turns away from him. If Zhongli let her have the bags she's going to leave to put them in the kitchen area that is part of Childe's living area in the back. If he doesn't, she will nod and go to open the doors for him instead so he can walk through unhindered when he's ready. Either way, she disappears for the moment, so it's just the two of them.

With a big sigh, Childe looks to Zhongli again. ]

Sorry about her. She is doing her clinical hours down in research but barges in when she feels like it and makes this place into some kind of personal school frat house. [ Childe glances to the couch which has the girl's overshirt and uniform overcoat with another sigh. ]

How was the shopping trip?

[ It is not rare for Childe to have visitors, high ranking Fatui official that he is. Subordinates, dignitaries, nobleman, and even other Harbingers were known to make an appearance every now and then, and Zhongli politely took his leave as Childe had sensitive work to do that a mere funeral parlor consultant had no business overhearing. But never had Zhongli witnessed a visit as informal or casual as this.

When the young woman first recognizes him, a cold sense of dread settles into his stomach that his memory has degraded again for he has no recollection of seeing her before. And certainly, he should know at least a little about someone who was so casual around Childe and who he did not seethe in silent hatred in response. However, at the admission of "meet you finally", Zhongli relaxes. Ah, so it is someone that Childe has spoke about him - and on a personal level as well. That narrows down the list of possible candidates but for fear of impoliteness (one cannot assume that every blue-eyed redhead is related to Tartaglia), Zhongli keeps those assumptions to himself.

Instead he mumbles a half-hearted insistence that he does not need any help even as the shopping basket is taken from his hands and the woman whisks herself away to the living area in the back without a proper introduction.

Maybe he can pick up context clues later to figure it out. ...Maybe.

Zhongli's fingers flex around empty air once the young woman carries off his purchases from the market, seeking something anything to do as this thoughts still careen out of his control. Awkwardly, he clasps his hands in front of him as he glances at the discarded shoes, clothing, and that section of desk that the young woman just recently vacated.

He takes a step forward, blinks owlishly and then changes course for the couch to begin tidying up the discarded clothing - folding them neatly before stacking them one by one on top of the farthest cushion. Either way he stares at them for a long while before turning back to Childe, answering the question as if he hadn't been over a full minute since he asked the question. ]

The trip was mostly successful. It seems that the continual rising tension between Monstadt and Snezhnaya still has a negative impact on trade between the two nations. Unfortunately, I was not able to procure any Calla lilies but I do believe a combination of snapdragons and lotuses from Sumeru will serve as a suitable substitute.

[ He takes a step back toward the desk, brow furrowed as he is concentrating on something. ]

Your hair is a mess.

[ Obviously from where the woman playfully kicked him in the head - and what a phrase that was when said in relation to Childe. ]

[ Despite keeping his assumptions quiet, Zhongli isn't wrong. She most certainly is related to Tartaglia. Still, Childe sees no reason to introduce her with her having already run off and she can probably take care of it herself, anyway. Zhongli doesn't know it, but Tonia has wanted to meet him for a long while now.

There an absentminded nod as be listens to Zhongli and mentions the tensions with Mondstadt. It can't be helped, really. there's quite a bit of bad blood between the two countries, and it's going to take a lot longer than some years to sort out— And that's assuming they don't clash again. (Unfortunately, they still are clashing here and there.)

The harbinger blinks at being told his hair is a mess before laughing good-naturedly in response. ]

Is it~? Can you fix it? I can't really see.

[ At this, Zhongli immediately brightens, sitting down on the couch (careful not to wrinkle Tonia's clothing) and gesturing for Childe to join him. ]

Yes, I would be honored to.

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