hydrangeabloom | (no subject)

[ No, dear Childe. Zhongli did not come here to die. Or at least he did not come knowingly.

For all of his mythical dragon and qilin lineage, Zhongli has also inherited many characteristics of a cat. He's fiercely independent and goes where he wants and does what he wants without care for the standards that others live their lives. His ideals and way of life are his own. And like a cat, when his time comes, there is a secluded cave buried within the mountains of Liyue that he we slink to and curl up, never to be seen by mortal eyes again. (Though he does not know this now. It is something only to be known when the last animal instincts within him clamor to be heard.)

The smile he gives Childe is brilliant, no longer a timid hushed thing, as he presses a kiss to the tip of his nose.

It feels right, being here. It feels right, doing this. And it feels right, being affectionate with Childe.

Even with the chill clinging to him like like a shawl draped over his thin frame, Zhongli looks much healthier than he did when he arrived at the Harbinger's office. The cracks have faded to nearly invisible seams. His skin glows with more than just the warmth of the bath. And he leans in mischievously, nose to nose, as if he is imparting a great secret. ]

Excellent.

Then if you are taking care of the next few meals, I must request that I be allowed to cook one for you as well in the next three days. Do your markets get fresh imports from Liyue and Mondstadt?

Huh? You shouldn't... ah, I mean guess I could ask if the kitchen is free at some point if you really want to...

[ he can't just let Zhongli wander around unsupervised. It's amazing that Nadia and Vlad found him before someone else like another Harbinger.

He should probably bring Zhongli home, anyway, rather than have him stay in the palace. He can probably take some time off since he hadn't in so long. Not having moved, he also realizes that their noses are still touching which means... he can't help but blush a little awkwardly as he mutters out an answer (finally) to the question. ]

U-usually. I'm not sure what is in season but there are some sellers that specialize in those imports since Snezhayan has been making an effort for foreigners to feel more at home when they are here. [ The Fatui have been a bit less aggressive over the years but Snezhnayans are quick to capitalize on anything they can from students from abroad to tourists to workers or those joining the Fatui bringing along their families. It's been a while since Childe has gone to these places on his own, however. ]

[ If Zhongli takes notice of Childe's blush, he does not say anything but nor does he seem interested in pulling back from the other. Or not too far at least as he reaches for the bath salts next to liberally sprinkle into the water. He seems appeased, no that is not quite strong enough word for it - excited by Childe's answer and presence. Continued presence if Childe is hinting that he will be allowed to stay for at least a few days.

Zhongli had no expectations for what would happen after he found Childe again = only contingency plans for if he was turned away (and those half-forgotten most of the time). So to be here and to be allowed here for a while longer, finally the fluttering uneasiness in his chest had quieted to a contented hum. Finally he was feeling a sense of peace which had been eluding him for months if not years now. ]

Then might I impose you to direct me to the markets later so that I may make some purchases.

It will also give me something to pass the time while you are busy with your own duties.

[ Because it wasn't like Zhongli expected Childe to drop everything and take care of him. He wasn't an invalid - just forgetful. And with the right precautions and muscle memory to guide him, he should be able to co-exist in a way that would not burden Childe's day-to-day. (Burdening Childe's heart and mind was a different matter entirely.) ]

[ It's been weeks since Zhongli arrived in Snezhnaya, cold and shivering and confused and left practically in Childe's lap by his subordinates. Weeks since Childe had taken him in and back to his home. Weeks for Zhongli to learn the ins and outs of life in the capital city of the Land of Ice and Snow and start to grow accustomed to being in a country outside of Liyue.

Zhongli seems to adjust to it well enough. Not once does he forget Childe during his weeks there no matter how long they are separated. Not once does his memories falter of their shared time in Liyue nor any of his duties as a funeral parlor consultant. In fact, the longer he spends with Childe, the more memories of Hu Tao and Xiangling and other familiar faces drift back to Zhongli. His eyes and smiles are brighter, his compression healthier, and his burdens seemingly lighter as he makes his way back to Childe's home, bag full with his purchases from the market. Of course, Childe insists that Zhongli does not have to do the shopping (there are subordinates for that), but Zhongli does so anyway arguing that it's good for him to get out and about and meet people. It helps with his memory - a claim that seems to be substantiated by the fact that the roster of Snezhnaya merchants was slowly being built just as he was familiar with those from Liyue.

(There are times, though, if Childe were to whisper mentions of Rex Lapis or Morax, that the bright visage falters and hairline cracks begin to spider across the surface of his skin. Depending on how long Childe persists, they expand and grow until Zhongli retreats to the comfort of his room and falls into a deep unnatural sleep before emerging a few days later with no recollection of any of it happening.)

Today is not one such day, however, as Zhongli carefully removes his mittens, breathing warmth into his hands so that he may fetch the keys from his heavy wool Snezhnayan coat and open the door to their shared home. He steps inside, carefully removing the wet and heavy layers to not drip water into the house as he begins to search the halls for Childe, bag still carefully tucked over his arm. ]

Childe.

I've returned.

[ Childe has not let it show, but he has observed Zhongli intensely over the weeks and how he is doing. It's surprising, honestly, the difference in how Zhongli is improving, at least in him being able to maintain new memories, rather than declining as Childe has ultimately come to anticipate. Afterall, he's never known of anyone with a deteriorating mind to do anything but possibly stall the inevitable. For Zhongli to be able to make and retain new memories isn't stalling, though. Even if he never remembers anything he's forgotten (—although seems to be recalling names and faces that Childe also knew while in Liyue,) if he can make be one and not loose them, then does it really matter?

( Only when Morax is brought up does Zhongli suddenly regress, those fractures showing until Zhongli retreats and doesn't re-emerge for several days. During that time, Childe returns to his normal daily routine as if Zhongli being there has been nothing more than a hallucination. After it happening twice, however, and then seeing it start again for a third time, Childe pulled back and swapped the subjects to something else having nothing to do with the once Archon's name. He has avoided Mentone of such things since. )

Childe doesn't understand why, of course, but so far nothing else has triggered those situations. Offhandedly, he wonders how bad this will work itself out to. Zhongli will want to leave at some point, right? If he returns telling his friends in Liyue who he stayed with, are they going to remind Zhongli of what he did? ( For some reason, he does not seem to have a memory of that. ) Will Zhongli be upset with him for not telling him first? Will he not believe those in Liyue? Or will that too cause that condition to flair up again?

He doesn't know.

(Could there be another option? Could it end up that Zhongli just wants to stay here for the rest of his life?)

It's absurd to even get his hopes up for that. Why would he be getting his hopes up in the first place, though, again?

It's been a lot less lonely. Zhongli is like the Zhongli the Fatui Harbinger fell for in Liyue before his own world came crashing down at the truth being revealed. He threw those emotions away, though, promised himself never to let them get the best of him again. He didn't need friends. He didn't need a life partner.

(Yet Zhongli is already so much more to him in a few weeks than he was the entire time in Liyue. The sincerity and affection is as incredible as it is agonizing.)

The Lord Harbinger closes his eyes and mentally sighs even as he listens to the attractive young woman chattering away and completely ignoring the fact that he's distracted and not really hearing much of anything she says.

When Zhongli returns, the girl immediately stops speaking (at the door penning so Zhongli is not actually interupting her,) glancing from her incredibly forward position of sitting on the edge of the Harbinger's desk, shoes off and swinging her legs idly. Childe's own eyes snap open as if suddenly awake at hearing Zhongli say his name and immediately responds with a typical prerehesrsed smile. ]

Zhongli-xiansheng, welcome back.

[ the young woman is staring somewhat suspiciously at the other, although with an equal sense of curiosity. She is overall not particularly decent to be seen by anyone in public as she's gotten herself comfy and taken off the more conservative pieces of her uniform. She looks like she's here to stay for the evening. Blue eyes blink once at hearing the name and how readily Childe comes to attention for the Liyuen, before glancing at Childe and then Zhongli and back to Childe again, this time giving him an annoyed (jealous?) look. ]

"So this is what you've been hiding from me! I knew it.""

[ Childe shrugs almost sheepishly but certainly not enough to be anything like an attempt at apology. Nimbly the woman twists by bracing her hands on the desk to roll her hips and brings over one socked foot to intentionally shove into the side of his head with a hmph! before fully rolling herself off the desk. ] "That's all you have for your defense? Stop staring it's impolite!"

[ with a huff, she is now coming from the desk over to Zhongli with a pretty smile, her blue eyes practically glistening and her ginger colored hair beautifully kept in style. The girl takes pride in her overall appearance, that much is clear. She's pretty and she knows it well enough not to feel self-conscious. ]

"Zhongli—" [ she pauses to brace herself to make sure she pronounces it as correctly as possible. ] "—xiansheng! I didn't know you were in Snezhnaya, it's nice to meet you finally! Do you need help with those? "

[ she looks very eager to help take those off of Zhongli since he carried them all the way here so he can instead talk with Childe if he wants. Although before her gives her the stuff (or even if he gives her nothing) she will turn to look back at Childe and bring one hand up to have her middle and index finger point at her eyes and then turn them to point them both at him. It's the classical I'm watching you gesture. The harbinger looks almost offended before sticking his tongue out at her as soon as turns away from him. If Zhongli let her have the bags she's going to leave to put them in the kitchen area that is part of Childe's living area in the back. If he doesn't, she will nod and go to open the doors for him instead so he can walk through unhindered when he's ready. Either way, she disappears for the moment, so it's just the two of them.

With a big sigh, Childe looks to Zhongli again. ]

Sorry about her. She is doing her clinical hours down in research but barges in when she feels like it and makes this place into some kind of personal school frat house. [ Childe glances to the couch which has the girl's overshirt and uniform overcoat with another sigh. ]

How was the shopping trip?

[ It is not rare for Childe to have visitors, high ranking Fatui official that he is. Subordinates, dignitaries, nobleman, and even other Harbingers were known to make an appearance every now and then, and Zhongli politely took his leave as Childe had sensitive work to do that a mere funeral parlor consultant had no business overhearing. But never had Zhongli witnessed a visit as informal or casual as this.

When the young woman first recognizes him, a cold sense of dread settles into his stomach that his memory has degraded again for he has no recollection of seeing her before. And certainly, he should know at least a little about someone who was so casual around Childe and who he did not seethe in silent hatred in response. However, at the admission of "meet you finally", Zhongli relaxes. Ah, so it is someone that Childe has spoke about him - and on a personal level as well. That narrows down the list of possible candidates but for fear of impoliteness (one cannot assume that every blue-eyed redhead is related to Tartaglia), Zhongli keeps those assumptions to himself.

Instead he mumbles a half-hearted insistence that he does not need any help even as the shopping basket is taken from his hands and the woman whisks herself away to the living area in the back without a proper introduction.

Maybe he can pick up context clues later to figure it out. ...Maybe.

Zhongli's fingers flex around empty air once the young woman carries off his purchases from the market, seeking something anything to do as this thoughts still careen out of his control. Awkwardly, he clasps his hands in front of him as he glances at the discarded shoes, clothing, and that section of desk that the young woman just recently vacated.

He takes a step forward, blinks owlishly and then changes course for the couch to begin tidying up the discarded clothing - folding them neatly before stacking them one by one on top of the farthest cushion. Either way he stares at them for a long while before turning back to Childe, answering the question as if he hadn't been over a full minute since he asked the question. ]

The trip was mostly successful. It seems that the continual rising tension between Monstadt and Snezhnaya still has a negative impact on trade between the two nations. Unfortunately, I was not able to procure any Calla lilies but I do believe a combination of snapdragons and lotuses from Sumeru will serve as a suitable substitute.

[ He takes a step back toward the desk, brow furrowed as he is concentrating on something. ]

Your hair is a mess.

[ Obviously from where the woman playfully kicked him in the head - and what a phrase that was when said in relation to Childe. ]

[ Despite keeping his assumptions quiet, Zhongli isn't wrong. She most certainly is related to Tartaglia. Still, Childe sees no reason to introduce her with her having already run off and she can probably take care of it herself, anyway. Zhongli doesn't know it, but Tonia has wanted to meet him for a long while now.

There an absentminded nod as be listens to Zhongli and mentions the tensions with Mondstadt. It can't be helped, really. there's quite a bit of bad blood between the two countries, and it's going to take a lot longer than some years to sort out— And that's assuming they don't clash again. (Unfortunately, they still are clashing here and there.)

The harbinger blinks at being told his hair is a mess before laughing good-naturedly in response. ]

Is it~? Can you fix it? I can't really see.

[ At this, Zhongli immediately brightens, sitting down on the couch (careful not to wrinkle Tonia's clothing) and gesturing for Childe to join him. ]

Yes, I would be honored to.

[ without hesitation he'll get up to join Zhongli, not at all minding the chance to sit on the cushions of the couch as well for a breather. His office chair is comfortable, but it's not relaxing like the couch, and he is immediately relaxing as soon as his rump meets the seat cushion.

He sighs vocally before wiggling a little closer to Zhongli. ]

Okay, ready~!

Ready?

[ That owlish blink is back again as Zhongli once again looks from Childe to the clothes now neatly folded next to him and then at the spot Tonia was sitting at the edge of the Harbinger's desk. Humming slightly to himself, he places one hand on Childe's knee and leans in equally close. If the situation were any more serious than some mussed up hair, one might think he was leaning in to divulge a heavy secret. ]

Are you sure?

[ He smiles back at Childe, unassuming. Just like he always does when he finds one of the Harbinger's antics particular endearing. ]

I think I can make you more comfortable.

[ Childe isn't one to kick a gift horse in the mouth, and despite getting a lot of it lately, Zhongli's attention is always a gift.

The edge of his smile quirks slightly with amused interest before he leans in a little closer himself. ]

Oh my, is that so? I wouldn't be against that.

[ Zhongli's expression lifts into something more genuinely joyous at Childe's response, slight concern that Childe may not have responded favorably to his request melting away instantly. And such a creature of habit Zhongli is, the steps on how he got into this position have already been carefully recorded (despite his eroding memory) so that he might get a similar response in the future.

But for now-- for now... ]

Then I shall do my best to ensure that this is a pleasurable experience.

[ And without any further explanation, he reaches down to grip Childe's ankles and hoist them into his lap. Perhaps if he thought about it, Zhongli should be concerned on how someone of his profession was able to manhandle one of (if not the) strongest mortal in the Snezhnayan military. But he thinks not of that as he strips Childe of his boots. And then his outer coat. And then the bits of armor he wears on his person. And then his belt. All articles of items are folded and arranged neatly next to Tonia's (a matching set of discarded clothing if such a detail would catch Childe's attention) before Zhongli leans forward again - one hand on the Harbinger's ankles as has kept the other's legs draped over his lap. ]

There.

[ And with his free hand, Zhongli reaches out to start to smooth Childe's unruly hair back into place. That was his original mission, after all. ]

Is this better?

[ Oh, this is... Childe doesn't protest one bit and is very good about working with Zhongli as he goes about removing the clothing. There is a small blush to the harbinger's cheeks at getting paid so much attention and care to all from a silly request to have Zhongli smooth his usually untameable hair.

There's nothing negative in the response he gives when his hair is finally tended to, though. Like a cat that's taken to a particular spot, he stretches a little in place before a chuckle escapes him. ]

Wow, perfect! I love this, xiansheng. Much much better.

[ Like a cat, Zhongli takes extra care to run his nails across Childe's scalp before meticulously making sure that every hair and lock is perfectly in place. Or well, at least as poised as it could look with how normally Childe kept his hair and now with him only half dressed for the occasion.

Reluctantly, job finished, Zhongli pulls his hands back, folding them neatly across Childe's shins. ]

Ah, do you?

I enjoyed it myself as well. Perhaps you will let me tend to you in this manner more often.

[ Childe seems extremely happy, pressing into those nails even as a Zhongli works his magic overall. With an endearing smile, the harbinger leans forward to wrap his arms around Zhongli's shoulders to pull him into a bit of a side lean as Childe chuckles. Without thinking (or so it seem, anyway) he'll go to brush his lips playfully against Zhongli's own, this time his words breathing out hot and seductively against beautiful unchapped lips. ]

Spoil me a little more and I'll let you do whatever you wish~.

[ Zhongli could answer. He could make many promises or do a number of things, all of which would fall under the umbrella of spoiling Childe since Childe rarely pampered himself. But the best reactions he had received thus far had always been through actions and not words. Perhaps it was selfish and perhaps it was over-indulgent, but as long as Zhongli was being rewarded for taking initiative then continue to take the initiative he would.

So he does not answer, instead choosing to lean forward to press his lips against Childe's with more intent than the fleeting brush that preceded it. In fact, (though it is still formal and proper and not even using a hint of tongue) it just might be what Zhongli would consider their first kiss.

Zhongli pulls back after a few moments, lingering so that Childe would not mistake his meaning, and with a teasing lilt to his expression. ]

If what I wish is what you wish for as well, then I have no need to bargain for what you will readily accept.

[ Oh, this—

This is not what Childe expected, but to say he didn't like it would be dishonest. Even so, the very idea of Zhongli kissing him willingly, nevermind initiating it is so far beyond his mental scope that he seems to stop functioning a moment. Even so, there is the fleeting shyness of moving his mouth against Zhongli's in return before the other pulls away. The harbinger's face is heated, looking surprised, but unlike in his younger days he knows exactly what he wants which means he does not stumble in response. Instead he huffs before chasing after Zhongli to press their mouths together firmly and without any extra hesitation. He'll pull Zhongli almost possessively close , and he certainly has no qualms about sending messages of his intentions, mistakenly so or not.

(The truth is whatever Zhongli reacts with so long as it's no reaction at all is not a mistake to Childe. It's as simple as that.) ]

Edited 2023-06-12 17:20 (UTC)

[ Zhongli is really being quite unfair if he were to stop and think about it. He had already disrupted the Harbinger's life by showing up here unannounced with some incurable ailment. He had already used up more than his fair share of Childe's generosity by being cared for and offering little compensation in return. Classic classic Zhongli to expect others to provide for him and his lavish lifestyle without a care for burdens placed upon their shoulders of as a result. Selfish. Selfish and unfair.

But Zhongli can't be bothered by those thoughts when Childe's lips press eagerly against his. Can't be bothered by trying to not impose even more on the other as he wraps his arms around Childe's shoulders and kisses back forcefully, savoring the taste of him. In this slightly awkward position of Childe still nestled in his lap, the two inevitably go tumbling to one side of the couch, the back of Zhongli's carefully pressed suit wrinkling Tonia's already crumpled outer wear. Ah, what a first impression to make (if this can be called a first impression since Tonia spoke of Zhongli as if she already knew him.)

Zhongli would not consider himself shy but he is definitely inexperienced in this (or really any) act of passion. Strange how he cannot remember being physically intimate with another - not even anything as scandalous as holding hands. He cannot even remember being attracted to anyone before Childe - his passionate carefree generous and feral "business partner". Surely he must have suspected he had grown feelings for the other before the Harbinger was forced to leave Liyue. But then why— why did he wait so long to act upon it. Wait until the communication had dried up for years before coming.

Zhongli doesn't know. Doesn't know even though the ache in the back of his mind warns him that this has something to do with his faded memories. Warns him that thinking on it too long or too hard will result in probably unfortunate consequences.

So maybe it's less that Zhongli does not know and more that Zhongli does not want to know. And that's all right by him. Why worry about such matters when it appears that Childe is eager to be a willing participant in what they both want?

So instead of worrying, Zhongli nips at the flesh of Childe's lower lip, arms tightening around him to pull him down down down until there is no space left between them.

(Let me stay with you. Let me find solace in your soul. I feel so incomplete without you.) ]

[ What is this...?

Childe knows he should pull back for so many reasons (did Zhongli really know if he wanted this? Is he simply indulging Childe's antics without much care of what it might mean? Is Childe really going to pursue openly making out in his damn office while his kid sister is somewhere around the vicinity??,) but the overwhelming desire and visceral need to have This (all of This) for even just a moment in time doesn't allow him to do anything of the sort.

When Zhongli pulls him down, he sinks further than simply closing the space between their bodies. Using one arm to press against the couch he holds some of his weight as to not simply dump it all upon Zhongli while his other hand digs into the couch cushion as he is consumed by the moment and the man beneath him.

(Never again, he promised himself. Never again with anyone. ...And yet, is this really "again" at all when it never ceased? He's wanted Zhongli for so fucking long how can anyone expect him to control himself being given a taste of it now?)

It doesn't seem to matter one bit how experienced or inexperienced the other is or otherwise seems, Tartaglia is more than willing to make up for it. The way his body shifts and adds just a hint of delicious friction, the way his lips become possessive in their passion (as he presses his tongue to lips and use it to gain access to that mouth he's wanted to ravage with his own since he laid eyes on it— )

Childe likes to think of himself as a sexually controlled individual. He has little need for it, willing to engage for the sake of business if absolutely needed, but very rarely did he have to seek out someone for a good fuck just to get it out of his system. But fuck if Zhongli didn't make him feel like he hasn't sex since they last saw each other, fuck if Zhongli doesn't bring out an insatiable sexual appetite... even if they never did anything like this before.

It's a good thing, then, that the back of the couch provides a bit of a shield should Tonia come back because it'll give Childe some precious seconds to disengage their activities. For now, though, anything to do with pulling back is the furthest from his mind. The's a part of him, too, that realizes this isn't simply him reacting to physical desire, either. Despite being turned in, he can't bring himself to make any progressive advances beyond kissing the other as if it's the only way he can possibly breathe. It's not perfect, he just wants to hold Zhongli, just be close to him— And no amount of insistence that he actually just wants sex is able to distract him from that.

( Stay. I want you to stay with me until there's nothing left of either of us. ) ]

[ When Zhongli does finally pull back, a pink dusts across his cheeks as he dares to look shy and flustered (an expression that had never one crossed Morax's features). His teeth dig into his own lower lip. ]

You're very good at this. Practiced.

[ It is not a statement of jealousy but of simple fact that even Zhongli could tell that Childe was experienced. That he was holding back from escalating due to attempting to be patient or Zhongli's own inexperience (or something else entirely?). Impossible to tell.

But if Childe had taken lovers before, then why did he not have one now? Had they all been temporary flights of passion? Did his duties prevent him from having a serious relationship?

There were so many questions with no answers, ever growing like a yawning chasm that showed just how little Zhongli knew of Childe despite how long they had known each other. How little he had come to try to understand Childe even though they were living under the same roof.

A hand reaches up to card through his hair, fond and gentle. ]

Is this okay?

[ Fingertips drag over the shell of his ear. ]

Is this something that you want?

[ Is it okay? He doesn't know how to answer that. If Zhongli were literally anyone else, he would say no, it's not okay. Even if it's Zhongli, he should say it's not okay, because he shouldn't be distracted from his loyalty to the Tsaritsa. Nevertheless, plenty of the others have all had it have relationships (Harbinger or any other tank in the Fatui) regardless, so why couldn't he indulge, too?

Is this something he wants? That's far easier to answer, especially with fingers moving through his hair in such a way. Life feels so unfair right now to dangle this in front of him only for his conscience to feel a need to wake up for once. lowering his gaze (because if he keeps looking at that adorable blush and expression, he won't be able to resist if he needs to,) Childe swallows before giving in a small nod. He doesn't really care if it's okay or not, in the end, but— ]

I do... but that's not good enough. You have to want it, too.

Then you do not have to worry. I have wanted this for a long time. Ever since those days where I stubbornly did not allow the presence of forks at my table and you stubbornly refused to lose to a pair of cheap-ass wooden sticks as I believe you called them.

[ That particular memory is a fond one, where Xiangling had gasped at his language, giggles hidden behind her hand as Chef Mao had rolled his eyes at their antics. And how Childe had left the restaurant with a steamed bun stuffed in his mouth as both proprietors made sure he didn't leave the establishment hungry. How bright and alive the world had been&mdash is when Childe was a part of it. ]

I thought again and again during those times how much I wanted to kiss you.

What a fool I was to not say anything before you left. To wait years before I came here in search of you.

[ Because why... why hadn't Zhongli said anything to Childe during those months in Liyue? Long long months where he let the opportunity slip through his fingers time and time again. How much time had Zhongli wasted with his silence even here in Snezhnaya— more lost months and more lost time.

No. No, today there would be an end to that. He would get his answer soon enough. ]

You have my apologies for being a coward.

[ Ah, if only Zhongli knew just how much of a coward he really was. And why he didn't say anything during Childe's time in Liyue... ]

[ Oh... something grips Childe's heart in his chest hearing this confession. If this is all true ... then... no. Zhongli back then would never have admitted to anything even if Childe had come forth. There's nothing he could have done to change the situation save perhaps coming back years later to trt again.

How could he have, though? The pain in his heart cuts deep even now just thinking back to it, and it's a struggle to accept this confession even if it's what he's wanted. There's no way he could have overcome his fear of rejection back then.

Is this something that never would have surfaced if Zhonglis memory wasn't suffering? He doesn't seem to remember anything to do with him being the geo-archon. If that's the thing that's making this possible, does that mean Childe is selfish to accept it? Can it even be considered real if Zhongli would never have given it, otherwise?

(But those circumstances were so long ago and the only one they kept living on in, apparently, was Childe himself.

...Maybe he should just let them go finally, too? )

Leaning forward, he gently touches his nose to Zhongli's, speaking with such adoration even if it's somewhat cautious. ]

I'm... also a coward. But... none of that has to matter, right? We can leave our mistakes in the past, stop chasing it for whatever is missing, and just go forward together, instead, from now on. If you're okay with building a future with me, that is.

[ if this is what Zhongli has really wanted ... Childe doesn't think it's possible to help Zhongli remember and still make him happy. Maybe Zhongli doesn't want to remember at all. Maybe he just doesn't know it himself due to the very nature of losing one's memories. ]

I want you to be my future, though, Xiansheng. Don't think otherwise even for a moment. And that won't change no matter what you decide. I'll wait as long as I have to.

[ Zhongli chuckles under his breath, not because he does not believe in the sincerity of Childe's statement. The truth is there in those beautiful fathomless eyes of his.

But it is silly, really, that he thinks Zhongli would want to wait. That he would want to waste even more time when the object of his affections was right in front of him and just as eager to move past their rocky past (for surely there was something else there, something that Childe wasn't or couldn't tell him).

The time for waiting and patience had long since past. ]

Why do we have to wait at all? Have we not already let too many years pass us by, waiting for something anything to change our situation?

[ Zhongli leans forward to place a kiss softly on Childe's lips since he had been so gracious as to close the space between them. ]

I will not interfere with your work, knowing how it is important to you. But let me be the person who welcomes you home, Childe.

Nothing would make me happier.

[ It feels like a dream, but it's a dream Childe won't shy away from. If he wants it to be reality, then the only thing to do is indulge. There's something sweet hearing such words from Zhongli, so much that it smoothes over everything from their past like soothing oils streamed over tired flesh.

His work...? Well, no matter how important it is to him, it can wait. He returns the gentle kiss before brushing his lips across the other's delicate cheek to murmur hotly against Zhongli's ear. ]

There's no one else I would rather having to do such a thing than you. Tonight, I'll make sure you feel the truth of my statement to the point you'll almost forget that we were ever apart to begin with.

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