vapour: (pic#16141837)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-10-19 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ajax does not sleep well, but he has come to at least control his worst nightmares in terms of acting out— when he wakes suddenly there are no loud noises or truly startling movements, just forcing his eyes open suddenly to clear them as quickly as possible. The nightmares have become by now so overdone and consistent that he finds it hard to be truly moved— at least beyond the emotional toll they take on him that he also ignores the cumulation of.

For this fox youkai does not merely deal with the nightmares of his own experiences but all of the memories of Inazuma lost to their hosts, as they scatter like leaves only to be tumbled into the filth that sickens the land of the electro Archon. Many are Lady Saiguu's, but far many more are unnamed victims that have lost their lives to the miasma itself indirectly or directly that creates a constant cycle of pain and suffering. Ajax stares off with unfocused eyes, the nightmare he's roused from still echoing at the edges of his wakeful reality, clawing and freezing the boundaries to the point he has to wonder when does one become more real than the other. Will there be a point ever where those memories make up not of him than the reality that he faces every day?

(Someone's parents don't come home one night. They grow up orphaned, scared, bitter and alone and only wishing to get revenge on the ones that took their family away from them, that took their entire life away and made it nothing more than a means to an end. They never succeed, either because they can't identify the people, they agree killed by another, or bad luck catches up to them, too, in their quest and they die unfairly and unfulfilled.)

Ajax doesn't know why, but memories like these upset him the most. That suffering is always so raw, so real, so simplistic it's impossible not to sympathize with the victim as if... as if he could really empathize what having a family taken away would be like. What a joke, maybe even a vile despicable thought to think he could understand that suffering in any way.

(But as he glances up and notices Zhongli also asleep, head bowed peacefully as he's curled in against the fox youkai, Ajax feels a sliver of dread he doesn't quite understand. He knows what it is because he's felt it through others so many times before— the dread of losing this person. This adeptus does not belong to him or his life in any sense, though, he has no right to feel anything like (because even if Zhongli merely goes back to Liyue, Ajax will lose him. so why would he feel so strongly attached as if he understands what it feels like to not be alone that going back to it would bring sadness? )

If he's honest, he very much has come over this short trip to not want to be alone anymore since meeting this adeptus. Maybe because Zhongli treats him too much like a living being that has his own life and right to exist with the rest of the. That's an impossible future for him, though, so why does his mind linger on such a thing, regardless? Letting his gaze wander he glances to the large tail and how the way it's curled about him makes him feel like he could be safe. He's never felt safe with anyone before. Is it because Zhongli is such a powerful being that he feels a strange comfort in that or is it something else?

(Again he can't... be killed like a real person or by the miasma. And no matter how powerful and entity only be very specific individuals could destroy him, so there's no reason to feel unsafe. He isn't even sure how he could feel safe, but his mind tells him that's what he feels and so he goes with it. )

Not wanting to disturb the other, Ajax simply remains as he is short of snuggling a little bit closer once again. His elder is asleep and unaware, but it's all more than enough Ajax can pretend for some pmoments that's he's being consciously held. It's nice... maybe too nice to the point it shouldn't feel nice at all. Ajax is stubborn about what he wants to feel and how to perceived things, though, so he manages to rather easily focus on the positive he wants out of it.

(Even so, the youkai can't help but wonder why Zhongli is being so accommodating to him. He's not unhappy with it at all, but he has never particularly been able to make long term relationships really beyond face value.of course, to want to have relationships when something like himself... he guesses is only natural to want and feel things from the memories of others no matter how corrupted they have become.)

His curious blue eyes drift up to the antlered horns, quietly admiring them even as they catch the gleam and gentle glow of flowers and plants in the cave. Everything is peaceful enough until the sounds of wolves are picked up by his large ears. They flatten nervously but he only goes to move so he can make sure his tails cover them both efficiently. Regularly wolves aren't an issue, but the spirit realm ones that prowl about can be obvious and sneak attack if they don't recognize what they are dealing with. There's no way they will pick a fight if they sense either of their strengths normally but if they find them vulnerable they just might try their luck. A Ninetails with all his tails on display even while not needing to have them present, white or otherwise, should be enough to keep the spirits from trying anything though. Even so, Ajax shifts to protectively test his head against Zhongli's antlers now.

He will finally drift back to sleep after a few minutes if Zhongli stays asleep.
]
vapour: (pic#15024833)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-10-22 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
[ oh this... this is unexpected.

Ajax watches Zhongli with doe eyes and his ears flattened back submissively, afraid that if he does anything at all it might ruin the moment of whatever state Zhongli is in. He understands, of course, that Zhongli is not fully awake, but that just makes it all the more fascinating. He would be so protective and welcoming to keep Ajax safe without the need to conscious pit on a persona of kindness or friendliness. Although it's true the youkai can handle himself and doesn't need protecting it still is an unusual experience which he'd rather watch it unfold than be offended, but the idea that this means Zhongli thinks he can't protect himself doesn't cross his mind.

So getting tucked under the other's chin and pulled close has the fox neither fussy nor tense. Instead he stares with big eyes into the dark of Zhongli's chest. His mind is suddenly blank, though, and he can't put together any thoughts like he wanted to seconds before with them all in a whirl of surprise at his friend's actions. Instead, he resigns and nuzzles the other at his spot under the chin, his ears lifting to gently stroke up against one of the adeptus's cheeks before going still to become a soft accessory for Zhongli's head to feel comfortable against. With the gentle heat and the added lights that only seem to glow in a tandem with the surroundings rather than wash everything out harshly, Ajax falls asleep relatively quickly once more.

This time, he had no dreams, just a sensation of warm and contentment.
]
vapour: (pic#15275758)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-10-22 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, wow— [ he had opened his ears blearily, something between a whine and a yawn occurring as he introduce goddess to stretch. Even while not in fox form he still seems to keep the habits very faithfully. However, during his stretch he has paused at Zhongli's question and blocked before his eyes go wide and he beams in a moment of excitement& ]

Actually, I really do! I can't remember the last time sleep was like that. I feel really alive today or something?...!

[ not that the youkai needs any extra energy whatsoever. Seeming to not really know what to do with himself in stretched position still, he'll go and take his outstretched arms to wrap around Zhongli over his shoulders while offering a smile as he settles back into the other's arms. ]

We sure do! But I think it'll be great, we've got the best company to enjoy it, don't you think~? [ long journeys don't have to be unfun! ]
vapour: (pic#15074471)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-10-22 07:00 am (UTC)(link)
Sounds good to me! Hopefully it'll be nice and sunny for us. [ he chirps after getting the additional affectionate scritches. When Zhongli untangles then he will also roll to get up, his nine tails fading from sight down to just one. Although he will use a human form once they get closer to the shrine, for now he's content just hiding his tails.

Although he senses that presence, it's very clear it hasn't made way to escaping what Zhongli did to it, there's which means Ajax doesn't have to concern himself with it no matter how unhappy it is in its imprisoned state. As soon as Zhongli turns to signal he's ready to leave, the youkai will nod and they can both leave to be on their way.
]
vapour: (pic#15016768)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-10-24 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ajax is quiet when they are greeted by the shrine maidens, all traces of him being anything other than human gone. Never once does he meet their gazes even though it's clear he's listening and observing all the same. He seems to blend well enough even if he comes off aloof, but his demeanor becomes more friendly and open when on their way to the meeting room there is a young girl trying to teach the ornament rack to hang her own. She refuses any offers for others to put it to for her, saying how can her wish come true if she doesn't do it herself, and she has kept at it. When Ajax hears her explanation , he agrees with her before offering a way help her reach out herself. He doesn't pick her up (he at least knows humans react badly when a stranger handles their child without their permission even if the child doesn't mind,) and instead goes to crouch down and lean forward enough so she can jump on his back and climb on to be able to get herself to successfully hang it. After a small victory celebration of yays and excitement between the duo, they part ways and Ajax will turn to catch back up what with having probably made Zhongli and the shrine maiden wait.

Once they're left alone in the room, Ajax relaxes a little, some rigid tension visibly easing out of him. Zhongli's voice brings him to tilt his head as if he still has his fox ears to hear with rather than the current human ones, but otherwise seems to be keeping most mannerisms in check so far.

(Even so he's definitely uneasy and perhaps trying to judge if he's doing things coreectly or is trying too hard to be human or not enough or—)
]


Hah? Actually, no... it feels familiar though, like i've seen it before. But every time I have met with Lady Yae she has come to me.
vapour: (pic#15074376)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-10-25 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[The fox youkai cants his head slightly to one side at Zhongli's hand on his, clearly focused on listenening to what the other's about to say before they are interrupted. Ajax perks towards the guuji with a friendly smile with Yae making herself known.

He reaches behind his head sheepishly before offering an apologetic smile with a polite and chipper greeting. Of course, she'll soon realize what the situation is and why the surprise visit but he'll glance to Zhongli with an encouraging smile.
]

At one of the abandoned shrines on Narukami. He was visiting, he said. [ He's guessing they must know each other because Zhongli was here a long time ago and they met and whatnot, but nothing further than that comes to mind right now.

He'll tilt his head back towards Zhongli now, glancing towards him encouragingly to take over speaking. It's better for him to bring up their reason for their presence.
]
vapour: (starconch)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-10-30 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ajax is quiet and serious as Zhongli speaks, but he is pointed to not act as if he is income in the concession unfolding. He doesn't look to the filth, doesn't look between either of them, and it's only when he catches Yae directly her wisdom to him that his eyes focus on her. He's not sure how to explain because it's sort of arguably ridiculous. Just because someone who had been nice to him was very against the idea of eradicating the filth via destroying it isn't exactly valid reason to do this, especially when he's been so stubborn about going at it alone. Still, he is not willing to be embarrassed or hide his decisions and owns them without wavering. ]

One of the corrupted trees near the shorelines. Zhongli-sensei was very convinced we couldn't destroy it because the memories would be lost with it. He was not willing to consider any alternative until this one was exhausted.

[ he doesn't say it outright, but the implication is rather easy to see for Yae: because Zhongli was friends with Lady Saiguu, Ajax felt wrong going against his wishes to try and save the memories. Of course, Yae knows better than that being the only thing, but that suggestion does give her more insight— the young youkai is quite smitten with having a friend and the thought of closing any decreasing what he was wasn't on his agenda since he couldn't exactly prove to Zhongli his way was the best way. And of course... someone who doesn't want to destroy memories that are vile and filthy— maybe this adeptus would not feel disgust and fear towards what he is?

Still, all the various reasons and angles that Ajax could give as reasoning and explanation all boil down to a simple common truth: I made a friend and I didn't want to lose him by going against his wishes. So I humored him.
]
vapour: (pic#15073530)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-10-30 09:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ajax looks a bit thoughtful at her comments about them avoiding some pretty big things going on, and he tries to think of anything unusual beyond the conditions that have been for some time. Perhaps something else besides the weather, after it had been perpetual hell and fury for longest time until that outlander arrived. Ajax had followed them around curiously for a bit from a distance since they made their appearance, but they didn't seem to be around to do any harm. He automatically assumes it has to do with them because other than Zhongli they are the only new variable he knows of in Inazuma and Zhongli did not seem like he was here to make waves.

Maybe if it wasn't for that loud fairy tagging along and having panic attacks every time something moved, he would have stuck around longer or even tried talking to them (no, no chance.)

Well, regardless, he supposes he and Zhongli will hear about it or they will witness it first hand soon enough if it's really as eventful as Yae describes it as.

The younger fox youkai realizes it's not as if he can avoid this so-called favor and wait to get a better idea of what she wants before he agrees to it, but he also does admittedly feel like he did dump her more work after being so indifferent on doing things alone, all just because he had a soft spot for an old adeptus that has paid attention to him for several days (not that Ajax is fully self-aware of this just yet.)
]

Yes, whatever you need. [ his smile is sweet, and very unassuming— he knows he's not fooling Guuji Yae, but it's simply habit and practice pose that he can't break, especially when around Zhongli (especially not when Zhongli hasn't pulled away his hand even once Yae greeted them.) ]
vapour: (pic#15075831)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-11-02 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[ oh, he doesn't? Ajax's smile is puzzled even as Zhongli takes over. Ah, so that's what it is, no t a fair trade... the fox youkai can't help but now try to get a better understanding as he listens to the two. Clearly Yae knows him a lot better than Ajax so it's best to see how Zhongli works these negotiations out than interrupt just yet. ]
vapour: (pic#15046624)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-11-12 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ajax nods. Unfortunately, if Zhongli was hoping for him to think about it for any length of time, he'll be sorely disappointed. ]

Yeah, fine with me.

[ he'd probably be doing something similar anyway and without Zhongli and his company any other day so it's no big deal where their next stop is to the young fox youkai.

Besides Yae always has good intentions despite her tendency for vague words of wisdom and trickery. Almost always, at least!

And what kind of fox youkai would he be if he couldn't handle some kind shenanigans should they arise.
]
vapour: (pic#15056232)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-11-13 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ajax is admittedly interested in what Yae means about Zhongli, even as he rolls the words said by his new companion around in his head.

Contract... stone... this feels on the tip of his tongue, and he can't help but intentionally turn to start sifting through memories of Hers in particular to try and see if the face next to him is somewhere in there with her. If not her, has Lady Yae ever informed him —

—eh, he'll do it later. Now isn't a good time to get lost in thoughts.
]

Then, we will head off soon after Zhongli-sensei finishes his tea and bring the item back with us next time~.
sharethememory: ([official] Chibi 02)

[personal profile] sharethememory 2023-11-13 07:48 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, after I finish my tea.

[ To which Zhongli takes a long pointed sip, ignoring Yae for the moment. How rude! He isn't tragic. He's retired.

He turns to Ajax when he's done:
]

Ajax, might you allow myself and the Lady Guuji to catch up on things for a few moments. I shall be ready to go soon.

You may also stay here as well, but I'm afraid our conversation will be dreadfully boring.
vapour: (pic#15046624)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-11-13 08:08 am (UTC)(link)
Sure, you don't have to tell me twice! [ he definitely doesn't want to deal with sitting through boring conversations. Which means he's more than ready to depart and leave the two of them to themselves for now.

Once he leaves, he is very good about going about keeping himself occupied for the two elders to catch up.
]
vapour: (pic#15046624)

[personal profile] vapour 2023-11-17 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
[ Ajax can be found not far from the hung wishes, staiing up curiously at the large outreaching branches of the great Sakura Tree. As if mesmerized, the young fox youkai stares up at the pink petals that hold fast despite the high altitude and breeze that continuously encourage them to take flight, wondering if he's seen anything prettier than this. He'd give to take a nap while waiting for Zhongli, but now can't recall if he ever made it before stopping to settle here and watch the Sakura petals dance their way through a short-lived existence.

He'll snap out of it when Zhongli approaches close enough, looking to him belt a smile lights up Ajax's face and he'll wave for good measure. In his hand is one of those wooden ornaments, but it doesn't seem that he's managed to ink anything into the back of it as a wish just yet. Somehow, with Zhongli suddenly there, it doesn't feel like such a thing he has to focus on in the moment, instead putting to go to the adeptus' side.
]

Sensei, you're finished? Did you have a nice talk? [ the fox youkai hopes so considering how long he was with Lady Yae, but one can't be too presumptuous about such things. ]

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